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Feeling sad this mother's day.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 626630" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>When I began to see the abusive patterns in my relationship to my own children (or to my husband), that was the beginning of healing for me, layne. It is good to acknowledge the wrongnesses we are aware of in our relationships, even if we don't know how to change them, just yet.</p><p></p><p>When our children go a wrong way, our certainty as parents and even, as people, can waver. We see the wrong things that are happening, and it is very hard to realize that, like COM says: "This still happened. My love could not stop it."</p><p></p><p>Things begin to snowball. One day, we realize our relationships to our kids are like, nightmarish. </p><p></p><p>And then, we feel badly about that, too.</p><p></p><p>Loving a difficult child child is so darn hard. But we do love them, and they drive us to distraction. It must be especially difficult for you, as this is your only child.</p><p></p><p>I have taken such strength from the postings of moms of both difficult child and easy child kids. It helps me realize that some kids are just really hard to raise. Since I have had issues with both my kids (different issues, but oh, boy, issues with both kids) that thought was a lifesaver for me.</p><p></p><p>If you haven't had a chance Layne, read through Echo's acceptance thread. </p><p></p><p>I am happy you saw your daughter. </p><p></p><p>I love it, when I see my kids in person. Well, I love it for about five minutes.</p><p></p><p>Ew.</p><p></p><p>But I am getting stronger; day by day, I am learning how to love them where they are. </p><p></p><p>And how to love myself, wherever they are and however bad that gets.</p><p></p><p>It's really hard.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you found us.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 626630, member: 17461"] When I began to see the abusive patterns in my relationship to my own children (or to my husband), that was the beginning of healing for me, layne. It is good to acknowledge the wrongnesses we are aware of in our relationships, even if we don't know how to change them, just yet. When our children go a wrong way, our certainty as parents and even, as people, can waver. We see the wrong things that are happening, and it is very hard to realize that, like COM says: "This still happened. My love could not stop it." Things begin to snowball. One day, we realize our relationships to our kids are like, nightmarish. And then, we feel badly about that, too. Loving a difficult child child is so darn hard. But we do love them, and they drive us to distraction. It must be especially difficult for you, as this is your only child. I have taken such strength from the postings of moms of both difficult child and easy child kids. It helps me realize that some kids are just really hard to raise. Since I have had issues with both my kids (different issues, but oh, boy, issues with both kids) that thought was a lifesaver for me. If you haven't had a chance Layne, read through Echo's acceptance thread. I am happy you saw your daughter. I love it, when I see my kids in person. Well, I love it for about five minutes. Ew. But I am getting stronger; day by day, I am learning how to love them where they are. And how to love myself, wherever they are and however bad that gets. It's really hard. I am glad you found us. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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