Hon, if he is violent you CANT take him and be safe and that is on him. Grandparents are older. No way. His violence could KILL them.
His PO is not being helpful and maybe he doesnt know oprions. There are services for felons. Its hard but you didnt do it, he did. And no way did he change with no professional help, rehab or even a long time to contemplate his choices.
Of course your son is sad now. For himself. He has done not one thing to make anything better, even ran from the cops. If you collapse and take him in you will be in serious danger.
Our house has a violence rule. One time you are out. I never had that but would have done it. Nobody will want to live with him if he doesn't change his act. And he wont have any motivation to get help if you take him back and be afraid in your own home.
He may not have motivation on the streets either....but he wont be living in comfort. Most adult kids who changed in my over a decade of being here, including my own daughter, changed after a serious attempt in rehab and these tend to be younger adults who do this or more often being on the street and being sure the family was completely done offering any help....that it was up to them.
My daughter was not on the street but we were done with giving any help and she hated where she was and many others whose stories were told here WERE on the streets. With no rescuers. And it finally clicked.
That seems to be the key. Does it always work...no. But it is, at least on this forum, what has worked the best. I cant think of one adult kid living at home who changed, at least not amongst the stories posted here.
Find all the community services in town and give him the phone numbers. in my opinion that is the best gift you can do given his violence. There are shelters, Salvation Armys that feed and counsel, food cards, Medicare if they get on SSDI and Section 8.3
Dad is right. Grandparents should never go near him again. You either....unless you meet him in a crowded restaurant. But......if you want an alternative, there is one.
If your heart cant take it, bring him home realizing that telling him what to do may set off violence. That those who live with you could be hurt too....or visitors. That it wont change him because he has no help. That expectations may set him off. If you would rather be at risk than have him using of community services or, the worst possibility, the street, you most certainly can let him live with you. This is always an option. It is when we no longer care if they ever change but WE cant take them being on the streets. It is for us. Believe me, some parents do this until they die. 60 year olds live with 85 year old parents and some are still abusive to the parent.
One wonders what the adult kid does after that parent is gone but then the free living and the unconditional love IS over.
There is no judgement here I hope. You do what you need to do
Hugs and love and lots of good thoughts that you work out the right thing for you.