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Parent Emeritus
Feeling sorry and not feeling sorry at the same time
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<blockquote data-quote="LauraH" data-source="post: 761627" data-attributes="member: 22877"><p>You are exactly right. I enjoy the times when we have pleasant and reasonable adult conversations while knowing that there will come the time when conversations like tonight's happen and not worrying about that eventuality until it happens. I can live with that. In the past, when things were going well between us, I would get hopeful that we had reached a turning point and things would be rosy from now on. Now I know better but I don't plan ahead mentally, just knowing it will come at some point is all I do. I have a wonderful life. I have a supportive loving husband, five cats, a few good friends, and a lot of not so close friends and acquaintances. I have even become friends of sorts with the members of a local band who in many ways are my mental health therapy without even knowing it. I'm seeing them Saturday! I have very few wants (not meaning that I have most things I want, just that I never really much in the first place), and all my needs, physical and emotional, are being met. The only thing I could wish for was that my son could be a part of this life in a meaningful way, but if that's not meant to be then it's not meant to be. That is my current reality. Who knows what tomorrow (the "down the road" tomorrow, not "tomorrow" tomorrow) will bring. At least my life is not boring! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LauraH, post: 761627, member: 22877"] You are exactly right. I enjoy the times when we have pleasant and reasonable adult conversations while knowing that there will come the time when conversations like tonight's happen and not worrying about that eventuality until it happens. I can live with that. In the past, when things were going well between us, I would get hopeful that we had reached a turning point and things would be rosy from now on. Now I know better but I don't plan ahead mentally, just knowing it will come at some point is all I do. I have a wonderful life. I have a supportive loving husband, five cats, a few good friends, and a lot of not so close friends and acquaintances. I have even become friends of sorts with the members of a local band who in many ways are my mental health therapy without even knowing it. I'm seeing them Saturday! I have very few wants (not meaning that I have most things I want, just that I never really much in the first place), and all my needs, physical and emotional, are being met. The only thing I could wish for was that my son could be a part of this life in a meaningful way, but if that's not meant to be then it's not meant to be. That is my current reality. Who knows what tomorrow (the "down the road" tomorrow, not "tomorrow" tomorrow) will bring. At least my life is not boring! :) [/QUOTE]
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Feeling sorry and not feeling sorry at the same time
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