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Parent Emeritus
Feeling Torn, No Win Situation
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<blockquote data-quote="Guidance seeker" data-source="post: 728655" data-attributes="member: 22632"><p>Laker 16 - you are in no way selfish to not want to care for your son for the rest of your life. It would be exhausting for you and wouldn’t allow him to develop independence.</p><p></p><p>I’ve been a mental health nurse for almost 30 years. Most adults aren’t discharged from hospital to their parents address, nobody would expect you to give up your life to care for him forever. </p><p></p><p>You deserve peace in your home and it is YOUR home, anyone who lives there should always adhere to your rules and boundaries.</p><p></p><p>I understand how you feel. I put my son out last April after many warnings and 4 years of hell. I too feel guilt and question myself, he has mild autism and ADHD which makes him very vulnerable with the kind of people he chooses to be friends with. However, he became a drug user and stole from us and smashed my things to intimidate me when I wouldn’t pay off debts that he still hasn’t stopped running up. I couldn’t live in the chaotic home he created anymore and In the end I put him out as it was affecting my then 17 year old daughter. My son was 19 at the time.</p><p></p><p>Try to enjoy your peaceful home now. You sound as though you’ve been through a lot and deserve to have your home back.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Guidance seeker, post: 728655, member: 22632"] Laker 16 - you are in no way selfish to not want to care for your son for the rest of your life. It would be exhausting for you and wouldn’t allow him to develop independence. I’ve been a mental health nurse for almost 30 years. Most adults aren’t discharged from hospital to their parents address, nobody would expect you to give up your life to care for him forever. You deserve peace in your home and it is YOUR home, anyone who lives there should always adhere to your rules and boundaries. I understand how you feel. I put my son out last April after many warnings and 4 years of hell. I too feel guilt and question myself, he has mild autism and ADHD which makes him very vulnerable with the kind of people he chooses to be friends with. However, he became a drug user and stole from us and smashed my things to intimidate me when I wouldn’t pay off debts that he still hasn’t stopped running up. I couldn’t live in the chaotic home he created anymore and In the end I put him out as it was affecting my then 17 year old daughter. My son was 19 at the time. Try to enjoy your peaceful home now. You sound as though you’ve been through a lot and deserve to have your home back. [/QUOTE]
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Feeling Torn, No Win Situation
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