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Parent Emeritus
Feeling Torn, No Win Situation
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<blockquote data-quote="Laker16" data-source="post: 728683" data-attributes="member: 22808"><p>recoveringenabler, you are exactly right. We had decided after the last disasterous attempt last summer at having him live here that we would not. It is definitely the fear, obligation and guilt that shakes that resolve when we feel we SHOULD sacrifice our comfort/happiness to give him a chance at a better life. I'm guessing that this waffling and self doubt is something every parent struggles with when making the decision not to rescue their troubled adult child.</p><p></p><p>I liked your suggestion to do what I can without resentment. I'm sorry to say I have a lot of that towards him and although I love him, I have a very hard time liking him. I do know I am willing to do what I can to get him SS benefits, Medicaid and whatever other government help I can because not only does it give him a little help, it would take away some of the worry and helplessness that I am feeling. If he chooses not to take advantage once I've done what I can, I need to let it go.</p><p></p><p>What you said last is I think what I really need to focus on. My husband is a wonderful supportive man and he deserves better...we deserve not to be miserable and in turmoil all the time. My husband is checking with his insurance to see what kind of mental health counseling we can get.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for your enduring kindness.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Laker16, post: 728683, member: 22808"] recoveringenabler, you are exactly right. We had decided after the last disasterous attempt last summer at having him live here that we would not. It is definitely the fear, obligation and guilt that shakes that resolve when we feel we SHOULD sacrifice our comfort/happiness to give him a chance at a better life. I'm guessing that this waffling and self doubt is something every parent struggles with when making the decision not to rescue their troubled adult child. I liked your suggestion to do what I can without resentment. I'm sorry to say I have a lot of that towards him and although I love him, I have a very hard time liking him. I do know I am willing to do what I can to get him SS benefits, Medicaid and whatever other government help I can because not only does it give him a little help, it would take away some of the worry and helplessness that I am feeling. If he chooses not to take advantage once I've done what I can, I need to let it go. What you said last is I think what I really need to focus on. My husband is a wonderful supportive man and he deserves better...we deserve not to be miserable and in turmoil all the time. My husband is checking with his insurance to see what kind of mental health counseling we can get. Thank you for your enduring kindness. [/QUOTE]
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Feeling Torn, No Win Situation
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