Feeling VERY battle weary today...

[My3girls&me]

Today has been a very stressful day for my difficult child Emma. She woke up very disagreeable and did not want to brush teeth, brush hair, wear what I laid out etc, so it was not a huge surprise when I got the call from her school to come pick her up because she "was out of control again". The worst part is, I have started a new job recently and so I had to send my grandpa to go get her and now I am sitting at work missing her like crazy and just wanting to hold her and tell her it is going to be okay. I called Children's hospital ER and asked if it would be worth me bringing her there. She has not been diagnosed yet (appointment not until April 08) so it is really difficult to get someone to take me seriously. I am afraid if i take her to the ER tonight when she is relatively "okay" I will get the she looks fine to me speech and after a day like today - I, myself may have a complete meltdown as a result. I spoke with the Behavioral Specialist she sees at her school once a week and she said she believes Emma needs to be on medications. Like I said - my appointment is not until April 08 and I just don't know what to do. I want help for my baby!!!!!!! I want her to stop being confused and hurt and scared and angry and I don't know what to do. The director of her school is getting increasingly weary also and no one knows what to do when Emma has a meltdown. She is just inconsolable and with 100 other students in the school, they can't just revolve around Emma. I am just exhausted and brokenhearted and just needed to vent I suppose.

 

[BusynMember]

A few questions:
Which child is this? Is it #3? If so, who diagnosed her?
Are there any psychiatric problems on either side of the family tree? Substance abuse?
Does Daughter #2, CJ, have any issues. You said "lives in her own world." Do you literally mean that? Does she interact with others, play appropriately? Did she speak on time, accept affection, play with toys? I'm not sure what you mean by that, but a child "in her own world" can be due to a disorder.
Others will come along.

 

[My3girls&me]

I guess I need to be more specific about things. I am so new to this world, I am still living in a blur I think. My middle daughter CJ lives in her own world, meaning she just is easygoing, not upset or bothered by much but I do not think has any issues at all. I should have been more thoughtful when describing her I suppose. The difficult child is my daughter Emma - the youngest. I use the term diagnosis very loosely because the only healthcare professional she has seen other than her PCP is the behavioral specialist the school has brought in to work with her. Upon her suggestion of possible ODD, I have made an appointment to have her seen at the Behavioral Pediatric Clinic at Cincinnati Childrens but she cannot get in until April 08. I do have an appointment for her at NorthKey, which is a mental health clinic in our town. That appointment is next month. I am in the beginning stages of acknowledgment and treatment with this whole thing and I am just so dag on confused and not knowing where to turn. After a suggestion from someone in the group about Asperger's syndrome, I started researching on my own and most of what I have read is like reading something someone wrote just for my Emma. I am definitely going to bring that up. I am just feeling very alone and confused today. Her PCP doesn;t seem that supportive, (I have called twice today and still have not received a response) but I cannot get her into the mental health place any sooner and I am afraid they are going to blow me off at the ER. I just wish I had a concrete diagnosis so I knew how to proceed and how to at least try to help her.

 

[butterflydreams]

Do you have a mental health behavior hospital or something like that in your area? I was waiting months for my son to be seen by a psychiatrist and he was just getting worse. I took him to a place here called Montevista, it is for mental health and behavior. Anyway, I was able to take him in for a free assessment. Once you go in for the assessment, they contact a doctor right then and there and they can determine if you need immediate help, then like with my son they instantly enrolled him in their program, they take as young as 5 year olds into their inpatient and/or outpatient programs. You might check in your area if there is anything like that.

 

[sweetiegirlz]

I was going to say....wow. butterfly you said it for me. I would try to find her some interim help until April. That is a looonnnng time.

I sympathize with her totally... New job plus stressing over your baby is so hard. Times of high stress. I wish to tell you that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

I wish I could offer more.

 

[4sumrzn]

Hello & welcome! I'm pretty new here myself & have found this to be a wonderful place for information & support. I am from Ohio & am also awaiting our appointment at Cincinnati Children's Hospital. My difficult child has been seeing the same Neurologist for over 3 years, has spent some time with a Psychologist, sees a Psychiatrist on a regular basis, has been through blood tests, evaluations, gets assistance through school & I'm still trying every day to find more resources & help for her & our family. My personal opinion would be to make sure to keep your Cincy appointment (I've heard great things about them) & find something else as soon as possible (has already been suggested). My thoughts are with you.....I know how hard this is to do but, hang in there.

 

[tired Cheryl]

Hi:

You have gotten great advice so far. I would definately not wait until April. I don't know what happens when you show up at the ER with a kid that was having huge violent meltdown but appears calm once at the ER. <u>MANY</u> times recently I have thought about taking my difficult child to ER but did not for a variety of reasons. I know how it feels to be totally desperate and at the end or your rope.

Maybe someone out there can that has done the ER thing can share their experiences?????

The only other thing I will add is that you need to seek help for yourself as well. I do not mean to insult you in any way but can hear your cries for help and I am in a similar situation. I have only just begun seeking my own mental health services but feel a bit more in control of the situation-almost like I have a new safety net there.

I know that it is difficult to take the time for ourseleves when our difficult children not to mention PCs take so much time BUT please think about this.

I hope that your daughter gets the help that she needs soon!

Hugs
Cheryl

 

[butterflydreams]

Like I said before check into interim care. My son, when he was even inpatient acted compliant and wonderful. My daughter and I have been so very frustrated because none of the professionals have ever witnessed the behavior that we have at home, i.e., the meltdowns and the violence. The whole time (11 days that he was inpatient) he was compliant. I completely empathize with you. It is very exhausting. Like Cheryl said make sure you take care of yourself. I know for me, I find that I never seem to have time for myself, I am always either exhausted from dealing with my difficult child or my daughter needs me. Keep your chin up! Just remember you are doing a good job.

 

[Wiped Out]

I agree with the others. April '08 is a long time to wait which as you know isn't good for you or her. Maybe the appointment. next month will be helpful. It really is important for you to take care of yourself-difficult yes but very important. Even if it's just a book you are reading after the kiddos are in bed or a hot bubble bath or a walk you need some "me" time. Gentle hugs to you.