difficult child is safe, has been at a halfway house and working for the past few weeks. This was very good news because we did not know where he was, or if he was all right, and we were very worried. He called to ask for his bike so he could get to his job. When he called, husband and I both sprang into action -- "You put air in the tires, I'll find his shoes! He'll need a helmet too!" "If you leave right now you can take him to dinner!" Then we both stopped in mid stride and looked at each other, put the bike with the tires still flat and his dusty helmet in the trunk, and husband dropped it off and stayed for only a few minutes, because to do anything more would be met with resentment. He really just wanted his bike. Why didn't difficult child think to even let us know where he is, how he is? Why does difficult child only contact us when he needs something? Why does he treat parental concern like something infective that needs to be kept at arm's length? The "normal" give and take of a relationship, the desire to share and celebrate, just isn't there. Of course I will take knowing he is safe and paying his own freight and be SO relieved and grateful! But some days I really grieve this lack of a relationship. Maybe it never was, maybe it never will be...but it really gets to me sometimes.