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Feeling very low.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 758047" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Ms Lulu</p><p></p><p>Let me say first how worry I am that you are feeling so low.</p><p></p><p>I am in the same boat as you. For a while my son has been living in another city. In my imagination things are going better. For me, they are. I have a sense of safety that I have not had in years. Contentment. Security. I live alone. I feel space to breathe deeply, like something or some force is not threatening to intrude every second. And I could imagine my son doing better. Out of sight. Out of mind.</p><p></p><p>M came over on the weekend after a couple of disturbing calls from my son. It took a while for me to understand his fear. Was it that my son in danger? Not primarily. It was that my son's situation was destabilizing and with it, him. That he would show up here and we would the three of us be thrust into chaos. M was worried about boundaries. That there is no way to keep 100 percent safe. There is nowhere to run.</p><p></p><p>I did call my son. Things had temporarily stabilized, he said. But the woman in the house had a knife. She has threatened to move out if he doesn't. She pays $1000. He pays $300 or $400, per his words. His friend has the lease. Who will the friend try to protect? (I had begged and begged my son not to leave the sober living where he had security and stability. I told him the likelihood of this happening. He chose not to hear.) My son's situation seems volatile and insecure at this point. Due to his personality, his habits, his choices, he can't maintain stability for long.This keeps happening. It is a cycle. This will continue to happen. And when this happens for him, he brings it all home. To me. I am with you, Ms. Lulu, in your club.</p><p></p><p>I think what you write is both real and true, and cautionary. We can't stop somebody's destiny. Not even our own. There is no way to formulate or put into place a history that guards against contingency. That's as good as it is bad. If we could make 100 percent barricades from suffering and the emergent in life we would never grow and evolve. What I am saying here is not negative, at least I don't mean it that way.</p><p></p><p>There is only one thing that makes sense for us. To keep trudging on. To guard and protect and extend the peace and the control we have where we have it. Our sons are grown men. They have to deal with the emergent and the suffering in their lives, or they won't grow and evolve. Just like we do. End of story.</p><p></p><p>Now the whole world is living this contingency. It always did but not at this level of consciousness. Maybe some good will come of it. I don't know another way to think or to feel. Love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 758047, member: 18958"] Dear Ms Lulu Let me say first how worry I am that you are feeling so low. I am in the same boat as you. For a while my son has been living in another city. In my imagination things are going better. For me, they are. I have a sense of safety that I have not had in years. Contentment. Security. I live alone. I feel space to breathe deeply, like something or some force is not threatening to intrude every second. And I could imagine my son doing better. Out of sight. Out of mind. M came over on the weekend after a couple of disturbing calls from my son. It took a while for me to understand his fear. Was it that my son in danger? Not primarily. It was that my son's situation was destabilizing and with it, him. That he would show up here and we would the three of us be thrust into chaos. M was worried about boundaries. That there is no way to keep 100 percent safe. There is nowhere to run. I did call my son. Things had temporarily stabilized, he said. But the woman in the house had a knife. She has threatened to move out if he doesn't. She pays $1000. He pays $300 or $400, per his words. His friend has the lease. Who will the friend try to protect? (I had begged and begged my son not to leave the sober living where he had security and stability. I told him the likelihood of this happening. He chose not to hear.) My son's situation seems volatile and insecure at this point. Due to his personality, his habits, his choices, he can't maintain stability for long.This keeps happening. It is a cycle. This will continue to happen. And when this happens for him, he brings it all home. To me. I am with you, Ms. Lulu, in your club. I think what you write is both real and true, and cautionary. We can't stop somebody's destiny. Not even our own. There is no way to formulate or put into place a history that guards against contingency. That's as good as it is bad. If we could make 100 percent barricades from suffering and the emergent in life we would never grow and evolve. What I am saying here is not negative, at least I don't mean it that way. There is only one thing that makes sense for us. To keep trudging on. To guard and protect and extend the peace and the control we have where we have it. Our sons are grown men. They have to deal with the emergent and the suffering in their lives, or they won't grow and evolve. Just like we do. End of story. Now the whole world is living this contingency. It always did but not at this level of consciousness. Maybe some good will come of it. I don't know another way to think or to feel. Love. [/QUOTE]
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