This phrase was one of the most confounding to me, and now one of the most important to me, in my work on myself. I always thought feelings WERE facts. After all, I felt it, so it must be real and true. I have learned, over the years in Al-Anon and from other study and readings, that while my feelings are real...they are many times not based in reality and fact. They are just...feelings. I have learned that feelings are to be felt, welcomed in, processed, waited with, and then, let go. Very often, there is nothing to be done about the feelings---no matter how uncomfortable they are. Everything else I have learned in recovery still stands...even if my feelings are 100 percent in the other direction. Wow...now that is something to learn, at least for me. I have always given feelings so much credence. But the real truth is...feelings aren't facts. My experience this past weekend bore that out once again. I "felt" like my son's wedding to his fiancee was not a good thing. I let my feelings consume me for one entire day (and I blocked them out for one other entire day). Thank goodness, I did not act on my feelings and say or do something stupid. I am so thankful for that. My work on boundaries, respecting others, realizing that I don't know what is best for other people, and letting adult people make their own decisions, helped me here. I had a sick, wrong feeling all day long, but I kept close to home, and "tended" to that feeling, without imposing it on others (except for my poor dear husband, who had to deal with me! : ) and without drama. I realized I wasn't good company and anything I was going to say would not be helpful to anybody. By that evening, at the wedding, I realized my angst was all in my own head.