Hi Teri,
Maybe you can use this time of respite to think about how you want to redefine the parameters of your relationship.
Maybe you will decide that, for a while, he can only write to you instead of calling on the phone.
Maybe you will tell him that you won't listen when he calls and starts to berate you, complain about his circumstances, the unfairness of it all, or blaming anyone else for his predicament. If he does these things, you won't be taking his calls again for a while.
Maybe you will explain that while you love and support him, you will no longer give him money (or only a set amount that you choose, if you feel you want to) and you will not allow him to verbally abuse you.
Take some time to think about what you want and how you think the relationship should go, from now on.
Don't let your son manipulate you into doing or putting up with things you don't want. You are in control of your life and what you will allow.
Take some time to get yourself in the proper frame of mind.
Don't rush yourself. He will still be there when you are ready.
He doesn't control this process, you do.
Stay with us, Teri.
It's not easy, but we will get through it, and live fulfilling lives no matter what.
Apple