figured out ghost!

ThreeShadows

Quid me anxia?
Sorry, Jena, 3 S here. difficult child 1 feels strongly about this stuff, he is part Passamaquoddy (native American). Please don't be scared. Things will be ok. You are not expected to deliver anything to your spirit. If you are frightened the kids will feel it. Not blaming you, just breathe.
 

DaisyFace

Love me...Love me not
Jena--

When we moved into our first house, many years ago--the house had been an "estate". An elderly couple had built the house, had lived out their lives in that house, and we purchased it from their children after they passed....

When we first moved in, I swear the spirits of that couple were still there.....

I heard them. I saw shadows. I saw the shadow of their cat. I could feel them "hanging around". Not in a malevolent way, to be sure, but it seemed clear that we were taking over "their place".

After a year or so, the shadows went away. I guess they decided that we were taking good care of the place, so they didn't have to stick around any more. I figured they left....

Until we did some re-modeling.... Then everything started up again: the sounds, the shadows etc. So I guess they never did "move on" completely.

At least you now know who your ghost is....

And he's probably not trying to hurt you or scare you....he's just watching over the place where he grew up.

--DaisyF
 

eekysign

New Member
Wait, difficult child is going to contact the dead kid's mom, or your neighbor is?

To play Devil's Advocate, I don't believe in ghosts/spirits hanging around post-death. I do believe in the power of suggestion, mob mentality, weird old houses (used to live in one, people thought it was haunted - we proved scientific reasons for each and every weird thing that happened in it - probably why I don't "believe" anymore), and totally freaking yourself out.

I guess my real point is how AWFUL it could be to contact his Mom, no matter who's doing it. He was a difficult child? If she DOESN'T believe in ghosts, you've just reopened an old, painful wound. If she DOES, now you're making her deal with her difficult child, even after he's gone. How many of you would want to have to put up with your difficult children for eternity?? :) Sounds like a lose-lose for her, either way. I would NEVER want someone (even a family member) to call up my Mom after I'd died to tell her my spirit is restless and stuck in my old house!!

I respect all the beliefs of the people posting above me. So don't read what I'm about to say as ANYthing other than "have you thought about this....". NOT judging, just giving my advice! :)

I'm just saying to consider (because it's always good to consider all options!) the possibility that one by one, your family has gotten so worked up about this that you're now feeding off each other's fears and making the situation worse. Your kids already have anxiety issues - I can't imagine adding "omigod our house is haunted" fears into that mix. You're all under a ton of stress with the move, work, the mice, the uncaring landlord, and parenting a difficult child to boot. I could see how that, plus a new house that is old and does weird stuff, plus finding out people died there could equal "ghost!!", whether true or not. And the kids could have started messing with you as a joke (Ah, difficult children), and freaked themselves out, and now believe it, too. Seen that happen before.

Not sayin' this is what's going on. Just some stuff to consider, as an alternative. :)
 

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
I have to agree with eeky that it is just plain wrong and could be damaging to contact the boy's mom. Don't do it.

Jen, I sent you a PM. There are ways to handle this with respect for the dead and in a manner that is harmless to yourselves.
 

SRL

Active Member
I agree not to contact the mom. I lost a difficult child brother when he was a young man and this information would have been devestating to my parents. The one and only comfort my parents had in my brother's sudden death was that he was finally at peace after his brief but troubled life. To suggest otherwise would shatter that peace.
 
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Jena

New Member
ok, wow. so here's the deal I'm not contacting anyone. I left it up to the descretion of the boys aunt and uncle with whom are sister's of the mother. Not my place i totally agree.

As far as the rest of it is concerned, I know there's something here, we have all experienced it except for boyfriend. He's the only one with whom hasn't. lol. yet he works so much. Yes stress can cause all sorts of things, yet this isnt' a us being hyper vigilant thing due to stress, etc. i know its hard to believe yet it is what it is.

i would never take it upon myself to contact anyone that way. i'll leave it up to the family and he is the one who said maybe i should tell her. maybe i didn't explain it right.

yet if it were me i'd wanna know. but everyone's different
 

eekysign

New Member
difficult child is very aware of it as well unfortunately. he is going to contact his mom who moved to fla after selling this house to see if she wants to contact me to see what we can do about it.

Ah, gotcha. I think it was this part that confused us. :)

Good luck with figuring it all out!
 

Steely

Active Member
I am so confused.....sorry Jena.
In a nutshell what has happened that makes someone want to contact the mom?
Did you know a boy had died before you moved in the house or did you just find out recently?
 

Andy

Active Member
I am sorry Jena - but if easy child is having problems with this, it may be best for you to make sure she knows you are open to anything she has to share. I am not saying anything "bad" is happening but even harmless pranks can upset or simply annoy teenage girls, especially if it is spirit doing so.

You stated that he pushed/bumped you the other day. If he is pushing easy child she could be freaking out.
 

Marguerite

Active Member
I do strongly feel that if you pulled up stakes and moved, because of this, you would be teaching difficult child that if you're afraid, you run away.

Sometimes it's the right thing to do. But a lot of the time, you need to learn to stand your ground and face the fear, because if you run, you never will know if you could have handled it well or not. A fear faced is a fear made so small as to be insignificant. A fear avoided is a fear that remains.

I don't see anything here to be afraid of.

Part of me sees this as eeeky does - nothing supernatural, fears feeding off eachc other plus an old house with weird settling/expansion/contraction sounds. I've experienced "haunting" in the past that turned out to be fully explainable.

But part of me also knows that sometimes, weird things happen for which there is no explanation. If you believe in haunting, then you need to recognise that in the vast majority of such cases, nothing bad happens to anybody. It's more like living with a flatmate, someone who shares the space but otherwise doesn't intrude too much. It means that if you're at home along, you're never truly alone, there is always someone to talk to if you want to.

Believe in this if you feel there is sufficient evidence to justify it. But don't be afraid of this haunting. There is no reason to be afraid. Any stories you have heard of, of harm coming to people in a haunted house, are generally either entirely fictional or have been shown to be false (ie "Amityville Horror" - it has been thoroughly discredited).

husband still believes the house he used to live in, in fact the very room he lived in, was haunted. However, he was very happy in that room. The rest of the house always felt welcoming, and even on those occasions when someone felt the ghost was near, there was never a sense of not being wanted there. It was more the feeling you get when you visit an elderly aunt who is holding out a plate of biscuits to you, that she has just baked. As if she knew that uni students now lived there and she wanted to enjoy life through our eyes and join in with the conversations and the company.

difficult child does need to get over her fear and to really face it and deal with it. Otherwise the fear will be what will haunt her.

Marg
 

Jena

New Member
hi,

i'm not sure where this took an odd turn here, lol. I again never stated I would contact the Mom. I said He, being the uncle would he is family and it is up to him, his discretion. I only stated that I am open to talking to her if she wanted to contact me. So, gotcha.....hmm i'm not too sure I had to be gotten. :)

I'm fine, i'll figure it out. thanks for all the input. :)
 

Jena

New Member
andy don't feel bad, it was good you clued me in and i did ask her by the way. and no nothing she just can't handle it she's freaked out majorly.
 

Andy

Active Member
Jena, I don't think the kids need to learn to live with this. It is like a bully from school. You teach your kids to stay away from trouble and things that will anger them. Some people may enjoy a spirit in the house but that atmosphere is not for everyone and it is unfair to make a kid learn to live with something so uncommon as this.

If you don't like it, then by all means move away from it. No need to learn to live with it. That would be a total daily pain - as if you don't have other daily "life" issues to help the kids through.

I know YOU can deal with this but making your kids come to peace will be impossible - you don't have time for that. Let someone who has the time and energy to deal with it live there. You have better things (and higher priorities) to deal with than how your kids are struggling with this unknown.

If you are able to move and do make that decision, you will be sending the message that you do not have to put up with annoyances. If you are so unhappy with something, you work to get rid of it if possible. You do not always have to stand up and fight. You choose your battles and this is a low priority one in my book.
 

Jena

New Member
i tend to agree on that one :) everyone's different. i just simply do not have time nor the patience. i have to reserve the patience for difficult child, easy child and my job.
 
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