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Parent Emeritus
Finally hit the end of my rope
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<blockquote data-quote="SeekingStrength" data-source="post: 661611" data-attributes="member: 17635"><p>Hi Nat,</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry you have to deal with this. My son is 34, yes 34. When he was 20, i was <strong>exactly</strong> where you are now. Honestly, I was there when he was 25 and 30.....okay, and 32. I still saw the sweet little boy. (and, he was. We had the best times as a young family).</p><p></p><p>But, my adult son is not that sweet little kid and has not been for a very long time. husband and I so wish we had seen the ugly truth much sooner. Perhaps it would have helped. We cannot know that, but we wonder. The truth was right in front of us, but we kept thinking (as you will see on this forum often)...one more time, one more try; this time our son will turn his ship around.</p><p></p><p>Things went very south when our 32yo son texted about 18 months ago and asked for $20 and we said <em>no</em>. This was before we knew he was using spice. It got very ugly, and even uglier after that - because our son asked for money a few times more and each time we said no.....and each time, he got more hateful. </p><p></p><p> I guess we were in the early stages of actually seeing what was going on - though we were far from "getting it." We <em>knew</em>, yet we did <strong>not know. </strong>Still hoping.</p><p></p><p>I believe that when we stop that gravy train, and our "kid" turns ugly, that pretty much shines a spotlight on much of the problem.</p><p></p><p>For you, I wish wisdom and strength. No kidding, it is a hard road. When I first found this forum and posted our story, several posted wise words, to the effect: you know, you are about to hit upon a very, very difficult journey - but it will get easier. And, in most ways, it has. husband and I know this is best for our 34yo - to man/human up, get his act together.</p><p></p><p>Has he done it? No, and recently my mom sent him $$. sigh. but, that is not our problem. It is her choice.</p><p></p><p>husband and I have a life to live and our son has his. We hope, we pray, we commiserate, but it needs to be his journey, his dealing with the repercussions of his decisions.</p><p></p><p>You are in my thoughts this evening, because I hate that any parents have to travel this painful journey.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>SS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekingStrength, post: 661611, member: 17635"] Hi Nat, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. My son is 34, yes 34. When he was 20, i was [B]exactly[/B] where you are now. Honestly, I was there when he was 25 and 30.....okay, and 32. I still saw the sweet little boy. (and, he was. We had the best times as a young family). But, my adult son is not that sweet little kid and has not been for a very long time. husband and I so wish we had seen the ugly truth much sooner. Perhaps it would have helped. We cannot know that, but we wonder. The truth was right in front of us, but we kept thinking (as you will see on this forum often)...one more time, one more try; this time our son will turn his ship around. Things went very south when our 32yo son texted about 18 months ago and asked for $20 and we said [I]no[/I]. This was before we knew he was using spice. It got very ugly, and even uglier after that - because our son asked for money a few times more and each time we said no.....and each time, he got more hateful. I guess we were in the early stages of actually seeing what was going on - though we were far from "getting it." We [I]knew[/I], yet we did [B]not know. [/B]Still hoping. I believe that when we stop that gravy train, and our "kid" turns ugly, that pretty much shines a spotlight on much of the problem. For you, I wish wisdom and strength. No kidding, it is a hard road. When I first found this forum and posted our story, several posted wise words, to the effect: you know, you are about to hit upon a very, very difficult journey - but it will get easier. And, in most ways, it has. husband and I know this is best for our 34yo - to man/human up, get his act together. Has he done it? No, and recently my mom sent him $$. sigh. but, that is not our problem. It is her choice. husband and I have a life to live and our son has his. We hope, we pray, we commiserate, but it needs to be his journey, his dealing with the repercussions of his decisions. You are in my thoughts this evening, because I hate that any parents have to travel this painful journey. Hugs, SS [/QUOTE]
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