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Substance Abuse
First family therapy session a disaster!
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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 50252" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: meowbunny</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Having had a child in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and having had her blow up because I acknowledged I did not trust her, I totally side with the therapist. Your son tried to manipulate the session. "My son took the comment very badly and responded that he didn't even want to come home if he wasn't going to be trusted." Well, trust is earned. You don't just get it because you want it.</p><p></p><p>He then threatens to have it his way or the highway. He tried to box the you and the therapist into a corner. His therapist was not letting that happen, nor should he have. He didn't say your son wasn't coming home. He suggested that if this was your son's attitude, then he SHOULDN'T come home. </p><p></p><p>If you let your son get away with no more therapy sessions, you will have lost. So will your son. His coming home will not be easy. You need to make sure your son understands that there will some very firm rules in place. That he will have to earn your trust, your respect. The one thing he will have free and clear is your love. The rest he will have to earn. </p><p></p><p>Sorry, but I've been in your shoes except Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was not court-ordered for us. If you don't stand firm now and help him understand that coming home is a privilege and can be revoked, that he must work to get home and must work to stay home, the odds are he will go back to his old ways. </div></div></p><p></p><p>I was thinking the exact same things!! I remember many conversations with difficult child while in rehab in regards to trust and for some reason he just thought it was a given that we should just trust him, without him having to prove it. I don't think so!! he's been clean for 8 months now, doesn't live home and the trust is still a huge issue.</p><p></p><p>These things have to be dealt with before he comes home and he is trying to manipulate the situation. He needs to know it is your way or the highway! He is where he is for a reason and he needs to be able to prove that he has learned from this and is ready to follow the rules and earn your trust back. </p><p></p><p>I don't think the therapist did anything wrong. I think she just said things your son didn't want to hear, he got mad, which pushed your mommy heart buttons and pushed you to his side, just like he thought it would. </p><p></p><p>Be very careful. You have come a long long way and need to practice up on these responses and how you react to him when he gets upset.</p><p></p><p>Take a step back and think about what upset him and if these are things you want to deal with once he walks in the door.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 50252, member: 2442"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: meowbunny</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Having had a child in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and having had her blow up because I acknowledged I did not trust her, I totally side with the therapist. Your son tried to manipulate the session. "My son took the comment very badly and responded that he didn't even want to come home if he wasn't going to be trusted." Well, trust is earned. You don't just get it because you want it. He then threatens to have it his way or the highway. He tried to box the you and the therapist into a corner. His therapist was not letting that happen, nor should he have. He didn't say your son wasn't coming home. He suggested that if this was your son's attitude, then he SHOULDN'T come home. If you let your son get away with no more therapy sessions, you will have lost. So will your son. His coming home will not be easy. You need to make sure your son understands that there will some very firm rules in place. That he will have to earn your trust, your respect. The one thing he will have free and clear is your love. The rest he will have to earn. Sorry, but I've been in your shoes except Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was not court-ordered for us. If you don't stand firm now and help him understand that coming home is a privilege and can be revoked, that he must work to get home and must work to stay home, the odds are he will go back to his old ways. </div></div> I was thinking the exact same things!! I remember many conversations with difficult child while in rehab in regards to trust and for some reason he just thought it was a given that we should just trust him, without him having to prove it. I don't think so!! he's been clean for 8 months now, doesn't live home and the trust is still a huge issue. These things have to be dealt with before he comes home and he is trying to manipulate the situation. He needs to know it is your way or the highway! He is where he is for a reason and he needs to be able to prove that he has learned from this and is ready to follow the rules and earn your trust back. I don't think the therapist did anything wrong. I think she just said things your son didn't want to hear, he got mad, which pushed your mommy heart buttons and pushed you to his side, just like he thought it would. Be very careful. You have come a long long way and need to practice up on these responses and how you react to him when he gets upset. Take a step back and think about what upset him and if these are things you want to deal with once he walks in the door. [/QUOTE]
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First family therapy session a disaster!
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