First Family therapy

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by crazymama30, Nov 22, 2011.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    So, please correct me if I am out of place here.

    We went to our first family therapy. First it was easy child and I with therapist, talking about how explosive difficult child can be, and how rigid he is. Basically her just getting to know us.

    Then she went and got difficult child, and we talked about his triggers. He did not recognize anything as a trigger, and really could not even reflect back to times that he was rigid and out of line. Not news to me. He was able to list some calming things, things he does there, but cannot reflect to things that we could do here. Cannot connect the dots.

    WTH!!!! I know what his triggers are. I don't need to spend a half hour going over them. And really? You want me to not trigger him???? What do you think we have been doing for years? NOT triggering him. Isn't it time that HE try to learn not to get triggered??

    Next week I will go by myself, and me thinks therapist and I need to have a little talk. Life does not revolve around difficult child, and if possible? He needs to learn this. Everyone tells me how complicated he is. Ok, and I needed tohear this why? I have been living it, I can tell YOU all about it. In some ways he even contradicts himself, what he needs can trigger him. Yep, I knew that too. Part of this placement was supposed to be a medication wash, that did not happen, and for him to learn coping skills. I can see some progress, but really? I think the appointment today just irked me. My life, my families life has revolved around him or s2bx for too long. It is not healthy for any of us.
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    sounds rough. do you get treatment planning meetings of any kind where you can discuss with everyone what you were expecting versus what you are experiencing? How does that work?

    So sorry it didn't live up to your expectations.
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Sounds typical.

    It is MUCH easier to teach you to avoid triggering him than to teach him how to handle the triggers.
  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    We do get treatment meetings, and I think it was either 14 or 30 days after admission, I don't recall which. Everyone is out of the office untill next week due to the holiday, so all there is to do is to wait.

    And? s2bx is most likely not going to be able to visit. The staff said they did not THINK it would be a problem if they supervised, but he heard it would not be a problem. Facility says they cannot supervise it due to the restraining order, and his ride? Is going to be with familiy. They were going to drop him off. I don't have the money for another trip, so difficult child will be alone on Thanksgiving.

    And?? I am a little irked. psychiatrist mentioned dropping abilify when I talked to her last week, (from 15mg last week to 7.5mg this week). I mentioned to therapist that I had not heard from psychiatrist, so I assumed they had not changed any medications? While we were visiting with difficult child psychiatrist called (I was not able to answer). She made the medication changes and kept the Seroquel the same and dropped the abilify. BUT DID NOT call me untill today!!!! Isn't that changing a medication before I was contacted??? I may have to call tomorrow and have words with someone!
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ok, get used to the medications thing. That is going to happen and you will end up hearing about it as it is happening or slightly later. If you have given them a list of medications he has been on and if they have had a severe reaction such as rash, hives, severe rages, etc...then I would just not worry about it. Let them handle medications. He is in a secure facility and they can monitor him.

    That first therapy appointment sounds about par for the course to be honest. difficult child was just not cooperative. As for future sessions, if I am right, you are a long ways away. I would ask if you could do every other therapy session by phone because of the distance. It can be done. They did it that way for me with Cory. They may not like it but tough cookies. they just put you on speaker phone.

    I would also email this therapist a note outlining what you feel the major needs are. He wants to know the triggers, give them to him in writing. Let him know a concise outlined report of difficult child. Doesnt need to be long but just a one or two page: here is difficult child, and this is what we need to work on now.
  6. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Yep, I gave them a list of medications. Really? he has no severe reactions like what you say. Most medications that we stopped were due to increased agression, anxiety or things like that.

    Making a list is a good idea. I will take make one and take it next week.

    Janet, they actually offered to do therapy via the phone, but I want to see difficult child once a week to make sure he is ok. If the weather gets too bad I will call and see about over the phone stuff.
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sorry you were disappointed but a first session is lst exposure to each other. It's not easy to "read" the true personality, pattern or objectives at a first meeting. You've been there done that for so long that it might seem like a waste to hash and rehash but on the other hand sometimes a workable plan does evolve. Hugs. DDD