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<blockquote data-quote="Second Time Around" data-source="post: 647537" data-attributes="member: 18739"><p>Welcome, Mominator. Sorry that you're dealing with this. I'm new to posting, too, although I've been reading this board for 5 years since shortly after I remarried and was trying to figure out how to help my step-son with his issues. He was in residential treatment twice, for a year each time. The first time, they sent him home after a year because he wasn't making any progress. He was home for a year and was still pretty violent and manic. (I don't understand how the parents are supposed to cope with a dangerous, mentally ill child if a facility with specially trained staff can't.) We were able to place him in a different facility, where he was finally properly diagnosed and changed medications. That helped a lot and he was able to come home after a year and has been doing fairly well with supports at home and at school. I know that dread that they might send a child back to live with you who is violent and dangerous. Do you have an advocate or case worker who can try to extend their placement if they need it or get more supports at home? We're in the U.S. and had a state department of human resources case manager who helped us extend his placement for a few months and get services at home. We have therapy and respite care through the state DHS. </p><p></p><p>While they are not 'throw aways", you do need to protect yourselves and your other children. Sometimes that means that the residential is the best place for them for awhile, even if their sister doesn't understand that. She's so young, that she won't be able to understand the big picture for many years. I hope you'll be able to get her into therapy even if she resists. If you can find the right therapist who can develop a bond with her, that may overcome her resistance and she can get some benefit from that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Second Time Around, post: 647537, member: 18739"] Welcome, Mominator. Sorry that you're dealing with this. I'm new to posting, too, although I've been reading this board for 5 years since shortly after I remarried and was trying to figure out how to help my step-son with his issues. He was in residential treatment twice, for a year each time. The first time, they sent him home after a year because he wasn't making any progress. He was home for a year and was still pretty violent and manic. (I don't understand how the parents are supposed to cope with a dangerous, mentally ill child if a facility with specially trained staff can't.) We were able to place him in a different facility, where he was finally properly diagnosed and changed medications. That helped a lot and he was able to come home after a year and has been doing fairly well with supports at home and at school. I know that dread that they might send a child back to live with you who is violent and dangerous. Do you have an advocate or case worker who can try to extend their placement if they need it or get more supports at home? We're in the U.S. and had a state department of human resources case manager who helped us extend his placement for a few months and get services at home. We have therapy and respite care through the state DHS. While they are not 'throw aways", you do need to protect yourselves and your other children. Sometimes that means that the residential is the best place for them for awhile, even if their sister doesn't understand that. She's so young, that she won't be able to understand the big picture for many years. I hope you'll be able to get her into therapy even if she resists. If you can find the right therapist who can develop a bond with her, that may overcome her resistance and she can get some benefit from that. [/QUOTE]
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