This is my first posting to this website. I need advice on how to help my 16 yr old difficult child. Background He was diagnosed with ADD at 7 yrs old, ODD at 13 yrs old; conduct disorder and mood disorder at 14 yrs old, substance abuse at 16 yrs old. Smart gifted child in elementary school and was an incredible athlete. Started having trouble with coursework and following school rules in middle school. He voluntarily went to military school, but was asked to leave due to breaking too many rules. Tried a well respected Catholic HS but he was dismissed for stealing some cookies and later stealing about $5 in donation money. He is currently in a large public HS in the Special Day program with his IEP qualification being ED (emotionally disturbed). He was recently almost expelled for having marijuana on campus and coming back to campus from lunch drunk. He has been in the psychiatric ward at the hospital 2x in past 18 months for his rages. He grades are not great- Cs and Ds, but at least he does not have a truancy issue and he is on target for HS graduation. Home life is terrible. We have lost all control of him. Nobody in our family wants him living with us. He has rages at times when he is confronted. He has broken doors, lamps, furniture, windows, and electronic items. Eats when and what he wants. Comes and goes as he pleases with total disregard for any house rules. Does not participate in any family activities. Did not even stick around for Christmas this year. Has pushed me around and thrown things at me. Has been in juvenile hall once for hitting his grandfather, but was released without charges since we were told it was provoked. Big problem now is drugs. He admits to having used LSD, ecstasy, marijuana and alcohol this year. He has been coming home under the influence of alcohol or marijuana on most weekends and holidays. He tells us he does not care what we think. He is constantly swearing and calling me horrible names. He has also been stealing money from his dads wallet. He has total disrespect for anyone in the family and anyone of authority. He refuses to take his medications (concerta and depakote ER). He refuses to get his labs drawn. He refuses drug testing. He will not go to counseling. He will not help with anything in the house. He will not look for a job or play any sports. He never learns from past mistakes. He does not feel he should have any negative consequences for any of his bad behaviors. We have asked social services, his counselor, psychiatrist, and law enforcement for help, but we are told he doesnt qualify for their assistance for any type of residential treatment. The Residential Treatment Center (RTC) are cost prohibitive for us to pay privately. Boys and Girls Town will only take him voluntarily and he wont go. We have stopped giving him money all together and refuse to drive him anywhere. He tells us to just ignore him and pretend he doesnt live with us. My husband, his father, is just ignoring everything he does and is counting the days until he is 18 to kick him out of the house. Our difficult child is straining our marriage and affecting his younger siblings in a very negative way. Psychiatrist and counselor tell us to just keep offering our help. Well, what do we do in the interim until he figures out he needs help??? Scared mom who is tired of sons disrespect and worried her difficult child will live a life in prison or die from drugs.