First Psychotherapy appointment was today

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by welcometowitsend, Aug 7, 2012.

  1. So I picked up difficult child at his friends place because I was worried he wouldn't make it to the appointment. As we have no insurance for that sort of thing I didn't want the money or time to be wasted.

    Anyway, I endured a verbal sh** storm all the way there - I was blackmailing him (I am requiring him to go to dr.'s appts and follow dr.'s instructions or he has to move out), I don't care about him, I owe him an apology for something I seemingly did to him the other day - he couldn't say what, on and on and on and on.......... So, I fed him because he only ate one meal yesterday and hadn't eaten yet today - that was my fault too somehow, even though he refused to come home. I guess I'm supposed to run around like Meals on Wheels and find him and bring him food.

    The appointment with the psychotherapist went well. I sat back and kept my mouth shut for most of the appointment. I don't think we made any progress in resolving any issues but I do think the psychotherapist made some headway in building a rapport with difficult child which will be huge. Lots of things were discussed on the surface but nothing delved into too deeply. I think this was a good approach because difficult child is very angry and one wrong comment might just shut him down with the therapist. So another appointment in 2 weeks with difficult child alone this time. Randy (the therapist) asked if husband and I would be willing to meet with him as well - absolutely. Anything to help move things forward. And he is going to keep in contact with the psychiatrist and share information back and forth with her - yeah!!!!!!!!!

    After we left I told difficult child we had another appointment. with our family doctor. He immediately knew I was taking him for a drug test. Ugh. I explained to him that I don't believe he is doing drugs but that the psychiatrist will want a drug test to verify that he is clean before she could ethically prescribe any type of medications that might help his depression/anger/mental health issues/adhd - whatever it is. I can't imagine the doctor prescribing medications that could interact with other drugs and possibly kill him without verifying that he's not on anything. Anyway he flipped out, got out of the car in the middle of an intersection at a red light and refused to go.

    It was actually kind of funny - I just drove off. I went to the doctors office anyway and by the time I got there he had called me 3 times. My phone was on silent because of the therapy appointment. So, I answered his next call and after a lot more verbal diarrhea he agreed to take the test. So, I said to him "Ok, I'll come back and get you. Where are you." "Right where you left me." Sure enough he's still standing on the median in the intersection when I go back to pick him up. I almost laughed.

    So we went to the doctors and got the requisition form for bloodwork and urine - we will go to the lab tomorrow morning. They were already closed for the day (summer hours).

    I have to say I am starting to wonder if this test will come back clean. He was pretty furious and was adamant he wasn't taking this test.

    Mama has grown a backbone and I mean business. I have decided that I want peace in my home and if anyone in the house isn't willing to work towards that then they can move on. I told difficult child today that if the psychiatrist tells him he needs to be in bed by 11pm so he can get 8 hours sleep a night then he will be in bed at 11. If she says he needs physical exercise to help stabilize his moods and feel better then he'll be taking up jogging, if she says drug test then he'll be taking a drug test. If he refuses to comply then we are done. I want to see some progress here and doing the same thing over and over isn't going to accomplish that. He sees it as blackmail - I don't care. When he was in a better state of mind he recognized there was a problem and wanted help so I'm getting it for him.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Good for you!! I am so proud of you and yeah, because of the level of anger about the test I came to the same conclusion you did. On the other hand, it could be because you have the nerve to suspect him of using drugs. LOL.....That's how my difficult child's would think!

    By the way, have you developed selective hearing to go along with the backbone? I know I'm getting there. Good luck tomorrow.
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Good for you! Way To Go! I am so glad you dropped him off. And that is so typical that he called you 3X and expected you to come back. (After all, he depends upon you for everything else. :) )

    I know exactly how you feel about being yelled at all the way to an appointment. Boy, does that sound familiar!
    One thing I do that sometimes works, is to say, "I know, I think it's stupid, too, to have another test done, and I really have to get home to finish that painting and this really ticks me off ..."
    For whatever reason, when I get mad at the same thing, difficult child often shuts up.

    Hey, whatever works!