So I did it. I broke down and got a name from the gal difficult child sees. I saw her last week for the first time and will see her next week. I felt so weird telling someone everything. Someone I had never met before. It felt awkward. Maybe because I am so used to putting on agood front, my life can be so chaotic and screwed up I like to keep it to myself. It was bare it all moment. The whole time I felt like I was giving her too much information, but kept telling myself that she was there to listen and could not help me unless she knew it all. We went back to childhood abuse and alcoholic father (actually unrelated) and no one, no one knows that. I really don't remember much about the abuse, and it triggers no fear or sadness, or really anything. Is this normaly? I think the lady was very nice, and actually seemed to be realistic and did not run screaming from the room when things got icky. She even (I think) gets our living situation which is confusing at best. Not judgemental and very kind. Very sympathetic/empathetic without leaning towards pity(I cannot stand that). It just was weird. I am hoping this will get better after the next visit or two.