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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 660885" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Hi, and welcome.</p><p> </p><p></p><p>As you've noticed, this does not work. It just provides a pressure point for them to push back against.</p><p> </p><p>However, he is 20. This is different than when he was 15. He is an adult now.</p><p>He lives in YOUR home. Which means: your house, YOUR rules. These rules apply to <em>everybody who lives in your house</em>. So, that includes you, and the younger son.</p><p> </p><p>Some possible rules:</p><p>1) NO internet access between (pick some reasonable hours that don't punish your other son... 11 pm to 6 am? )</p><p>2) Must contribute to the household. Dishes? vacuuming? weeding the garden?</p><p>3) Must maintain reasonable hygiene for the health of the household: teeth brushed at least 1x/day, bath or shower at least 2x/week, sheets and towels changed and washed at least weekly, clothes must be changed after bath/shower.</p><p>4) Must be out of the house at least X hours per day (pick a number to start with)</p><p> </p><p>Consequence? The first rule is easy... you can turn off the router, and take it to your room at the intended cut-off time, and then nobody has internet access.</p><p>The others... it's your house.</p><p>Maybe someone else on the board has some more creative ideas...</p><p> </p><p>Note: You cannot force anyone to take medications or see therapists. They own their own body. All you can do is refuse to support their refusal to get help. If they aren't actively seeking to get better, then maybe they need to leave home and find out what real life is like.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 660885, member: 11791"] Hi, and welcome. As you've noticed, this does not work. It just provides a pressure point for them to push back against. However, he is 20. This is different than when he was 15. He is an adult now. He lives in YOUR home. Which means: your house, YOUR rules. These rules apply to [I]everybody who lives in your house[/I]. So, that includes you, and the younger son. Some possible rules: 1) NO internet access between (pick some reasonable hours that don't punish your other son... 11 pm to 6 am? ) 2) Must contribute to the household. Dishes? vacuuming? weeding the garden? 3) Must maintain reasonable hygiene for the health of the household: teeth brushed at least 1x/day, bath or shower at least 2x/week, sheets and towels changed and washed at least weekly, clothes must be changed after bath/shower. 4) Must be out of the house at least X hours per day (pick a number to start with) Consequence? The first rule is easy... you can turn off the router, and take it to your room at the intended cut-off time, and then nobody has internet access. The others... it's your house. Maybe someone else on the board has some more creative ideas... Note: You cannot force anyone to take medications or see therapists. They own their own body. All you can do is refuse to support their refusal to get help. If they aren't actively seeking to get better, then maybe they need to leave home and find out what real life is like. [/QUOTE]
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