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First time on here .... Eeeekkk
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 676374" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Welcome UK. Glad you found us. This is a tough journey we are all on. I could relate to all of your post. My son is 24 and he also started smoking pot very young and went on from there. </p><p></p><p>One thing I learned from Alanon which I now believe is that you didn't cause it, you can't cure it and you can't control it. We all make mistakes as parents but at this point he is an adult and his choices are his....you are not forcing him to live the way he is, behave the way he does or use drugs. We can't change the past we can only go forward with the future... It is time to let go of the guilt. My guess is you really don't have anything to feel guilty about..... But it is hard not to go back and think if only I had..... Well who knows how things would have turned out if we had taken another path? One thing I have realized is some other paths may have led to even worse situations... We just don't know.</p><p></p><p>The stand we have taken with our son is that we will help him help himself but we will not help him continue to use drugs. My son seems to finally be getting to a place where he truly wants help for himself. He has been in and out of treatment for years... But finally now he seems to want it for himself. At least that is my hope.</p><p></p><p>You are being smart not giving him money or letting him live with you. And he will say whatever he thinks will get him what he wants. Stay strong and keep posting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 676374, member: 15801"] Welcome UK. Glad you found us. This is a tough journey we are all on. I could relate to all of your post. My son is 24 and he also started smoking pot very young and went on from there. One thing I learned from Alanon which I now believe is that you didn't cause it, you can't cure it and you can't control it. We all make mistakes as parents but at this point he is an adult and his choices are his....you are not forcing him to live the way he is, behave the way he does or use drugs. We can't change the past we can only go forward with the future... It is time to let go of the guilt. My guess is you really don't have anything to feel guilty about..... But it is hard not to go back and think if only I had..... Well who knows how things would have turned out if we had taken another path? One thing I have realized is some other paths may have led to even worse situations... We just don't know. The stand we have taken with our son is that we will help him help himself but we will not help him continue to use drugs. My son seems to finally be getting to a place where he truly wants help for himself. He has been in and out of treatment for years... But finally now he seems to want it for himself. At least that is my hope. You are being smart not giving him money or letting him live with you. And he will say whatever he thinks will get him what he wants. Stay strong and keep posting. [/QUOTE]
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