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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 677241" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think differently in only one respect. </p><p></p><p>People react defensively. People do not change everything all at once. We need to look at the big picture. </p><p></p><p>He is acting like a more responsible father than he was before. That does not win prizes but it gives hope. Everything need not be decided on the basis of this one interaction.</p><p></p><p>There will be a pattern or there will not be. Tish has put her cards on the table. There is no walking back from this. Son will decide. He will get it together or not.</p><p></p><p>I believe that there is never 100 percent wrong all on one side in an interaction. We can take responsibility for our piece of it, even if it is only, I could have said that differently. </p><p></p><p>That does not mean taking fault or blame. This is 100 percent the responsibility of son. That does not mean Tish would be wrong to extend a hand. If it is for the good of reaching the desired goal and good for everybody. There is a lot at stake here.</p><p></p><p>I do not think Tish is able to parent her grandson on a permanent basis. </p><p></p><p>It cannot be only about one interaction. The consequences would be too dire. We have to make room for hope. That is what I believe.</p><p></p><p>Again, I think the threats are a different but related issue than the irresponsible parenting. </p><p></p><p>Son is in a tough, tough spot and he knows it. At his age, 26 or 27, he wants to be completely independent and feel one hundred percent in control in his life. (My son is that age. I know.) And here he has screwed up and his parents have his child, and he must feel he has to dance on a pin to please his mother. While it is not true, he must feel that way. </p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 677241, member: 18958"] I think differently in only one respect. People react defensively. People do not change everything all at once. We need to look at the big picture. He is acting like a more responsible father than he was before. That does not win prizes but it gives hope. Everything need not be decided on the basis of this one interaction. There will be a pattern or there will not be. Tish has put her cards on the table. There is no walking back from this. Son will decide. He will get it together or not. I believe that there is never 100 percent wrong all on one side in an interaction. We can take responsibility for our piece of it, even if it is only, I could have said that differently. That does not mean taking fault or blame. This is 100 percent the responsibility of son. That does not mean Tish would be wrong to extend a hand. If it is for the good of reaching the desired goal and good for everybody. There is a lot at stake here. I do not think Tish is able to parent her grandson on a permanent basis. It cannot be only about one interaction. The consequences would be too dire. We have to make room for hope. That is what I believe. Again, I think the threats are a different but related issue than the irresponsible parenting. Son is in a tough, tough spot and he knows it. At his age, 26 or 27, he wants to be completely independent and feel one hundred percent in control in his life. (My son is that age. I know.) And here he has screwed up and his parents have his child, and he must feel he has to dance on a pin to please his mother. While it is not true, he must feel that way. COPA [/QUOTE]
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