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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 677262" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is all such a difficult situation. </p><p></p><p>I believe your son loves his child, Tish. But on the other hand it sure seems that your son does not fully understand the situation he is in, that it demands more than he has to give or is willing to give. </p><p></p><p>At the end of the day, you have done what you are doing for GS and for yourselves. Leaving no stone unturned. </p><p></p><p>I think I agree with Tanya, no more unsupervised visits for son--the pills, the lack of vigilance. The defensiveness was a momentary thing. </p><p></p><p>The lack of presents, how he said you would be spoiling his son, to me does not mean much. He knows he cannot compete. He feels disenfranchised with his own son, because he has been. He blew it. Every bad thing that happened can be traced partially or wholly back to his poor decisions. He is in the unfortunate situation where he has to start from minus zero, with one foot tied behind his back.</p><p></p><p>No matter how much the situation is defined about grandson, your son's life is at stake too. You are his parents. You chose to put yourselves in the middle. Unfortunately this is a no win situation for you. There is not one outcome that will be uniformly good. All you have is that you are trying the best you can. Integrity. Responsibility. Love. Generosity of spirit. </p><p></p><p>I for one feel for your son. That does not mean I excuse his behavior or want to make everything all good, for him. But you are his parents. He has to be considered. The time to play hard ball was at first, not now. You are in the end game now. Everything will come out in the wash. I would not do anything now to upend the game. Let it play out. That is my vote. Making sure that your grandson is protected.</p><p></p><p>Your grandson was born to inadequate parents. Your son has been and is limited by serious issues. He like my own son is not playing with a full deck. And with that incomplete deck he is called upon to handle a situation that would tax parents with the greatest resources and capacities. Yet, he has chosen to give it a go. He may not succeed to be the parent his son needs, but as long as the terms of the game have been set up, I would finish the agreed upon terms and see how things are. </p><p></p><p>I disagree with Serenity. You do not have the legal right to terminate your son's parental rights. You have made it clear that you will not protect your son at the expense of your grandson. You have no choice but to involve professionals. Because you only have power through them. </p><p></p><p>Your belief in your son's capacity or incapacity only matters to the extent that through information provided to them, CPS authorities and a judge agree. Under the law you are only a temporary custodian. It is between son and CPS. He is an adult and the child's father. How can it be otherwise?</p><p></p><p>Of course everybody should put the welfare of a disabled child, above all else. Tish, you are doing it, to the extent that you have control and are able.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 677262, member: 18958"] This is all such a difficult situation. I believe your son loves his child, Tish. But on the other hand it sure seems that your son does not fully understand the situation he is in, that it demands more than he has to give or is willing to give. At the end of the day, you have done what you are doing for GS and for yourselves. Leaving no stone unturned. I think I agree with Tanya, no more unsupervised visits for son--the pills, the lack of vigilance. The defensiveness was a momentary thing. The lack of presents, how he said you would be spoiling his son, to me does not mean much. He knows he cannot compete. He feels disenfranchised with his own son, because he has been. He blew it. Every bad thing that happened can be traced partially or wholly back to his poor decisions. He is in the unfortunate situation where he has to start from minus zero, with one foot tied behind his back. No matter how much the situation is defined about grandson, your son's life is at stake too. You are his parents. You chose to put yourselves in the middle. Unfortunately this is a no win situation for you. There is not one outcome that will be uniformly good. All you have is that you are trying the best you can. Integrity. Responsibility. Love. Generosity of spirit. I for one feel for your son. That does not mean I excuse his behavior or want to make everything all good, for him. But you are his parents. He has to be considered. The time to play hard ball was at first, not now. You are in the end game now. Everything will come out in the wash. I would not do anything now to upend the game. Let it play out. That is my vote. Making sure that your grandson is protected. Your grandson was born to inadequate parents. Your son has been and is limited by serious issues. He like my own son is not playing with a full deck. And with that incomplete deck he is called upon to handle a situation that would tax parents with the greatest resources and capacities. Yet, he has chosen to give it a go. He may not succeed to be the parent his son needs, but as long as the terms of the game have been set up, I would finish the agreed upon terms and see how things are. I disagree with Serenity. You do not have the legal right to terminate your son's parental rights. You have made it clear that you will not protect your son at the expense of your grandson. You have no choice but to involve professionals. Because you only have power through them. Your belief in your son's capacity or incapacity only matters to the extent that through information provided to them, CPS authorities and a judge agree. Under the law you are only a temporary custodian. It is between son and CPS. He is an adult and the child's father. How can it be otherwise? Of course everybody should put the welfare of a disabled child, above all else. Tish, you are doing it, to the extent that you have control and are able. COPA [/QUOTE]
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