Flicker of light and "The Explosive Child"

[Thinking Outside the Box]

I just need to tell everyone who replied to my first thread "Please read and offer any help!!!!!!!!" posted on October 15th, THANK YOU! After years and years of doctors and therapists of all kinds, I ended up here only as a last resort hoping to maybe get at least a single piece of valuable advice regarding the situation with our difficult child. Instead, I got overwhelming support and the name of a book. "The Explosive Child" by Ross W. Green is all about my difficult child! I found myself being SOOOO angry that not a single therapist ever told me about this book. You were all so right when you recommended "The Explosive Child" for me to read, I could NOT put it down!! Dr. Greene said everything I have ever wanted to say about my difficult child. I can't believe that this book has been sitting out there all this time and these so-called professionals have left me feeling insane, guilty and feeling like an absolute failure.

Please continue to share with anyone and everyone who may need to read it. To be very honest, I didn't think that there were other children like my difficult child out there. Much of what we needed, as a family, was to be believed and understood. My husband and I needed to know that we were not bad parents. We have been so devastated and lost for so long and here was this book to put everything into perspective. With all my heart, thank you because for the first time in a long time, I can see that light inside my difficult child. Melinda36

 

[SophiaMaria]

I just need to tell everyone who replied to my first thread "Please read and offer any help!!!!!!!!" posted on October 15th, THANK YOU! After years and years of doctors and therapists of all kinds, I ended up here only as a last resort hoping to maybe get at least a single piece of valuable advice regarding the situation with our difficult child. Instead, I got overwhelming support and the name of a book. "The Explosive Child" by Ross W. Green is all about my difficult child! I found myself being SOOOO angry that not a single therapist ever told me about this book. You were all so right when you recommended "The Explosive Child" for me to read, I could NOT put it down!! Dr. Greene said everything I have ever wanted to say about my difficult child. I can't believe that this book has been sitting out there all this time and these so-called professionals have left me feeling insane, guilty and feeling like an absolute failure.

Please continue to share with anyone and everyone who may need to read it. To be very honest, I didn't think that there were other children like my difficult child out there. Much of what we needed, as a family, was to be believed and understood. My husband and I needed to know that we were not bad parents. We have been so devastated and lost for so long and here was this book to put everything into perspective. With all my heart, thank you because for the first time in a long time, I can see that light inside my difficult child. Melinda36

They are really good at making people feel that way , aren't they?
I'll have to check this book out , i'm glad to hear you've found it enlightening. It's so easy to sink into the bad routine , it becomes so normal, when you get some good info or a great couple of days you realize how bad things are.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Melinda,

I speak for many of us "old timers" on the board who regularly recommend this book to new posters - we call it our bible of sorts. It can change the way you deal with your child because it forces you to look at them, and their disabilities and unique abilities, in a different light. It offers techniques for dealing with difficult children when none of the typical easy child offerings works (i.e., 123 Magic, etc.).

I would also recommend Dr. Greene's "Lost in School".

Sophia Marie, not sure why the recommendation past you by, but it's definately worth the read!

I'm glad, Melinda, that the book is making a difference for your family.

Sharon

 

[TPaul]

Dear Melinda,
Knowing that there are other families out there that are like our own in many ways. Knowing that there are other children our there that have the same kind of problems that our child does. Know that it is a condition that they have and that we are not to blame. There statements that make a world of difference to a parent feeling lost and alone. Priceless!!

 

[klmno]

I didn't read the book until I joined the board and heard about it 2 1/2 years ago. And it made me feel relieved, too. One of the fascinating things I found about it is unlike most books pertaining to kids and parenting, this concept and approach can easily be "tweaked" for difficult child's of about any age, in my humble opinion.

 

[DazedandConfused]

Reading The Explosive Child was a revelation for me. Of course, I learned of the book through this board. It provides tools to for us to interact with our difficult children in a new way that can be sanity saving.

This place, along with its support and insight that I have received over the years has been THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT resource for me raising two difficult children; which can be so very isolating and renders a life awash in confusion, worry, anguish, and despair. I shudder to think where my family would be if I had never found it.

 

[susiestar]

I am so glad that you found so much help and hope here. I have personally felt the way you feel/felt about your difficult child. Wiz often did things that most kids did. If done the way a "normal" kid did them there was no problem. But a difficult child never handles them the way a easy child does.

I personally do not think therapists and teachers even know the Explosive Child exists. Or they have forgotten it. I have given many of our "experts" copies of this book for holiday presents. Several ahve thanked me because they then bought copies and loaned them to parents of patients or they recommended a parent read the book.

So pass the word about the book. I bet that few of the teachers in your school have read it either.

You may not want to pass the website around. often we reveal such intense emotions here that we don't necessarily want others that we meet in real life to know. Some of us have had people we know use the site to gain info to use against members and their families. This is why we don't pass the website around but we do pass the book around.

I STRONGLY urge you to check out the Love and Logic books. I use them WITH techniques from the Explosive Child. My husband didn't "get" other books and techniques at all. I had to "spoon feed" him tidbits of info because otherwise he didn't use any of the ideas behind any of the hundreds of books and papers about people with difficult child problems.

L&L books he "got" right away and even "spoon fed" tidbits of info to me, LOL!

You can learn about the many books/audiobooks/tools that L&L offers at the website (www.loveandlogic.com). I read everything on the website and re-read it every couple of months as I "slip" back into bad habits. Even the teacher oriented info has helped me.

I hope you continue to get help from the books, and that we get to know each other more.

 

[Shari]

TEC saved us, too. It was the turning point for me, as a parent, and for my difficult child. When I started using TEC methods is when my child actually connected to me. Before that, nothing. Looking back, he probably didn't understand anything about the world around him...TEC methods allowed that to change in small enough bites that he could handle them.

This year, the teachers at difficult child's school have not only ALL read that book, as well as Lost At School, they have purchased copies for all staff and are actively working to implement it in their classrooms. Sections of Lost and TEC are in wee difficult child's IEP. While I am no way naive enough to think the rough stuff with school is over, I do think this is a huge success, not only for my difficult child, but others out there, and it makes the struggles seem worth it.

Congrats. It was our life saver, too.

 

[whatamess]

I read The Explosive Child last spring. I think it helped me so much because I was in a good place to embrace what was written. If that book had been handed to me at other points in our journey I might not have connected with it. I look at my difficult child in a new light, the book validated what my heart had been telling me for years, but behaviorists and educators could not see.