Fluke? Things Getting Better....

[JulienSam]

husband & I have been commenting over the past week & half how much better Sam's behavior has been. Fewer explosions, less hitting of me.

Then today his preschool teacher said he had a wonderful day. Drop off went well last week & today (compared to him hiding, crying, not wanting me to go).

I've racked my brain to figure out if we've done something differently at home & can't come up with anything. No diet changes. No eating or sleep pattern changes.

We did have an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation last week for sensory issues & the results came back that he's sensory-seeking and emotionally reactive. He starts hippotherapy (horse therapy) next week -- a 1/2 hour with- the horse & therapist, then 1/2 hour in the clinic with- therapist.

We have an appointment with a new psychologist tomorrow -- this was made after our appointment with- a psychiatrist made it clear he wasn't the right person for us (medications, medications, medications, with no other options discussed). I almost feel silly going in -- what if this better behavior is permanent? Or what if it isn't? I guess Sam still has some issues to work on, and his dad & I still need some support on how to better deal with him at home.

We also have an appointment in July with a pediatrician. neuropsychologist for an evaluation. We're on the list in case there's a cancellation, but I'm willing to wait because I've heard such good things about this guy.

So normally I feel like I'm walking on eggshells waiting for the next explosion to happen, and now I feel like I'm walking eggshells waiting for this better behavior to disappear. I'm just hesitant to enjoy it because I feel like it's not real...

Have any of you been there done that parents gone through this?

Julie

 

[Andy]

Uneducated guess - Sam knows you have started looking for help for him. He is not crying for help as much anymore - that is what some of the explosions and behavior were - a cry for help. He still has explosions because he has something going on but it is not as scary anymore because he is getting help figuring it out? Also, have you and husband figured out the best way to handle the explosions? That could also be why you are not noticing so much, you are calmer, thus Sam is calmer?

Does that make sense? I would continue the road you are on checking out everything possible "just in case". I think it is hard to get referrals to these specialized tests so when you have one, don't turn it down. Enjoy these good days and know that they can continue while being prepared for something else. Don't live on eggshells waiting for a bad day, just don't be surprised when/if it happens.

 

[Marguerite]

Have you read anything on "The Explosive Child"? I know it's going to sound crazy, but what you describe is what we observed, from the moment I picked that book up and well before I actually tried any of the methods (or so I thought).

Kids are incredibly sensitive to our moods sometimes. I think in our case, difficult child 3 had already picked up that I was changing direction and trying to work out how he felt. It was enough to see considerable improvement, because immediately, he felt less frustrated.

Even if you haven't read the book, you've been coming here and posting, reading, and thinking. Maybe that's all it is?

Marg

 

[BusynMember]

Kids behavior tends to cycle. Since you don't really know what is wrong yet, you don't know why he gets better or why he gets worse. One week isn't long enough to know if things have changed for good. I wouldn't overthink things and certainly never blame yourselves! "The Explosive Child" is a great book, and after you see the Developmental Pediatrician you should know a little bit more. My son was once a lot like yours--and we couldn't get the right diagnosis. for a long time. Keep up all the interventions you can get, read the book, and keep bringing him in for evaluations (my favorite type of diagnostician is a neuropsychologist, even for little ones. They are such good, intensive testers). The more help you can get him now (the Occupational Therapist (OT) is a great start) the better the outcome. Good luck.

 

[JulienSam]

Thanks, ladies. You're right -- I should enjoy it while I can.

We have read The Explosive Child -- it's been somewhat helpful, if only in giving husband & I a glimpse into Sam's head and a better understanding that his behavior is not a deliberate choice on his part.

I do think there's probably something to Sam sensing that we're working hard on finding answers and help for him... I wish we could make everything go faster, but we'll keep plugging away.

I liked today's psychologist much better than the psychiatrist we saw a couple of weeks ago. We have an appointment in a few weeks with the psychiatrist in the same practice as the guy we saw today to talk medication. I'm still a bit nervous about medication, but a bit more at ease after talking with the psychologist today.

Thanks for the support -- it's so helpful to know that there are other parents who have been at this stage and survived.

Julie