So Witz, I thought of you a lot last night after H and I had an argument about whether I said Sat-Wed or Sun-Tues...and he backed out of our little getaway. Let me explain. I have to go to FL for work on 4/1-4/2, so I called H on his cell at work and suggested we go a few days early and make it a little romantic getaway for us. I said, "We could go on Sat and I only have to work on Tues, so we'd have almost 4 days to play." He said, "Yeah, okay book it. Maybe we could fly into Orlando and see my parents." I said we couldn't really do that because it's too expensive to fly in one place and fly out another (my FL office is in Tampa), but I did suggest that maybe we could meet them halfway and spend a day with them and have an early dinner instead. He said okay. I was ecstatic! I have our travel agent at work figure out the flights, the hotel, the rental car, etc. I knew we could use H's travel rewards on his Amex card for the hotel and the cost would be half. After work, I rush home, I'm getting dinner ready, and H comes into the kitchen I instantly know that something is wrong with him, he's clearly annoyed about something. So, later after coloring eggs with monkeyboy and difficult child, I asked H if he wanted to go on line and see how his points would work with the hotel. He stares at me for almost an entire minute and then turns away back to the tv (he's lying on the couch). I said, "Hello? The points for the hotel? Do you want me to check that out?" Again, he turns to me, stares for about 30 seconds and then says, "Sure go ahead", in the tone of a nearly dead person. *My H is definitely depressed and could use a getaway like a jailed man could use a file, okay? So, I'm thinking in my head "Whew - just in the nick of time, we need to get this man into some sunny weather!" I figure out that in using his reward points, the hotel will cost a total of $225 for 3 nights, plus the cost of his flight so his cost will be less than $500 for 5 days in FL, great right? I told H and he freakin blew up on me, yelling that I said Sun-Tues (I wouldn't have said that because A) we agreed on Sat and B) I had to be in my office on the Tues, so he knew it was until Wed). I argued with him for about a minute and then when he screamed, "THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS. YOU SAY ONE THING AND THEN IT ENDS UP COSTING ME $1000!!! WHO'S GOING TO TAKE CARE OF difficult child?!?! WE CAN'T LEAVE HER HOME ALONE FOR 5 WHOLE DAYS!!!" Well, I would have lost it then, but instead I turned to him very calmly and said, "You know what, H? I'm going to cancel this trip and I will just go down on my business and we'll do something another time." But he wanted to fight, so I let him argue with himself - justifying his reasons for not going. difficult child can't take care of herself for 5 days at 18 and half?? Even if she does get into trouble, it's her problem, not ours. I could even have my nephew stay at the house to make sure it doesn't burn to the ground - my nephew would be THRILLED to do that for us, seriously. I turned back to the computer and cancelled everything on line and went to my room to read. When he came in later he tried to fluff the blankets like he was trying to be fun, because it's difficult for him to rest if he knows everything is not okay. I ignored him and went to sleep after difficult child came home. I was so furious for so many reasons. One, it would have been nice for us to get away by ourselves, he needs a shot in the arm and to get away from work, we never do anything to nurture our marriage and I can see certain behaviors in him that make me worry he will fall off the wagon or worse, exacerbated by his current depression. I thought it would be a nice thing. And it would've been affordable. It's not like we're pisspot poor or can't swing even $1000, but it only would have been about $650 out of pocket. I don't understand him. He's stuck and he thrives on being a martyr and I'm tired of it. At our ages and with our grown daughter's we should be able to live a little and I am ready. I don't want to melt into my couch now at the age of 45 and do nothing until we die. But that's what he seems to want to do. He behaves as if his best years are behind him and now he's just an old dog that he needs to survive until he one day drops dead. That's not MY plan and I refuse to cave to it. This morning he was able to come back into the bedroom while I was getting ready because I stupidly forgot to lock the door and he tried to be cute and ask me stupid question that I couldn't give a rat's @$$ about, but I deflected him. You see, H can't have a good day if he doesn't trick himself into thinking that I am not mad at him anymore. Well, I didn't really care about that this morning. I was worried that we were going to incur cancellations fees and I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to cancel the flight for a refund and would have to take a voucher (thus paying for his ticket even though he cancelled), which would have been in his name and he'd never use it because he just wants to melt into our couch and die. I am leaving for PA tomorrow morning at 7AM for the weekend by myself with my mom and sisters and I can't freakin wait to be away from home. Away from H and visit my mom and stay at a hotel and just be away from it all. I called our agent this morning and since she hadn't confirmed the trip, I was able to cancel and make the changes without incurring any fees. Thank God. I'd have made H pay anyway. So, instead I'm going for the one night by myself for work only. Poop. I'm sorry this is so long but I had to get it all out.