I'm wondering if Jack is doing this because difficult child told about the sex requests. He could be mad. Plus, if he makes a big deal about difficult child less people will notice him. Keep the focus on stolen ipod and mom and brother and other kids won't do anything about him (like therapy, more questions, supervision ect... )
It is sad that Jack is doing this. difficult child shouldn't have stollen it, but after he took it his behavior has been wonderful. He gave it back. He opened up to you about a difficult situation. I am so impressed with your difficult child. I'm sorry Jack is using the neighborhood kids to gang up on him.
I'm sure that this is what's going on. I'm fairly certain that Jack's family uses the terms "gay," and "faggot" as pejoratives, including the mother. She actually referred to a family in our neighborhood as "colored" in a conversation we were having once. I believe this is all a big cover-up and the true tragedy will be that Jack won't get help and will either struggle with his sexual identity or play it out with another kid(s.)
Hamlet, I'm still wondering what role, if any that older brother has in this. He's 17? At that age, I'm not expecting total maturity, but, I dunno, something a bit more mature than a tween?
I have been wondering the same thing. After the fight I thought that the best thing was to try to talk it out with Jack, but the brother wanted to act as the surrogate parent. He knew all of the details about the stolen ipod and the sexual advances. Jack has been trying to play down and diminish the "gay sex" issue, and paint difficult child as a thief and liar. Yeah, his family has bought it even though Jack has had a couple of instances of mania where he has been physically violent.
Just keep congratulating difficult child on speaking the truth and being a better person than others are being. It WILL come back to bite the others - because if Jack is sexually acting out, he will need an outlet, and it will undoubtedly be from his current circle of supporters. And someone else will eventually put the puzzle pieces together.
Marg
Thank you, this is what I am trying to do. It sucks when doing the right thing doesn't feel good or have immediate good effects. Thank you all for the feedback, it gives me really good insight and ideas.
