For his 13th birthday, he wants...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Nov 2, 2009.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    a cell phone or a little brother.


    Sorry I haven't been here much. It's been crazy. I can catch up in a couple of weeks. I'm sending hugs to everyone!
  2. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Interesting, since each choice involves having to communicate....:tongue:

    Have missed you, my sister in magically appearing female undies;)
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I am yelling from the sidelines ----Go with the CELL PHONE!!!!!
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Hmmmm... diapers... rollover minutes....


    rollover minutes....

    I dunno, Terry. That's a tough call! :tongue: (I smell a pun -- or is it a dirty diaper?)

    In all honesty, I don't think you should consider EITHER for BOTH your sakes. I don't think His Royal difficult child-ness is ready for a cell phone, do you? I know difficult child 1 was not ready for one (although I did leverage it heavily on the grades issue) and ended up losing the privilege more often than not. And difficult child 2 just has no need for it at this point (he turns 13 in another month). I mean, who would he call besides me? A sad commentary on his lack of social life, I know.


    Whatcha gonna do?
  5. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I'm of the opinion that kids' cellphones should be programmed only to reach parents at home and at work, and one or two trusted family members or neighbors.

    911 is a given as federal law requires that ANY cellphone carrying a charge be able to reach 911 whether or not there is active service or not.

    Kids don't need internet access on their phones, or photo/video capabilities, or texting.

    Reading on here over the years I've seen over and over again the problems that can arise with cellphones and kids.

    I just don't think it's a good idea.
  6. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'd go with the cellphone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  7. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    LOL iBrother...
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I have T-Mobile, and you can shut down all service except the text/call capability to 10 predefined numbers.

    It's worth it.
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    LOL! He knew how to make the cell phone look like a great idea, didn't he?
  10. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    How about one of those cell phones they have that can only be programmed to call like 3 numbers?
  11. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    How about a "little brother for a day".....invite a young nephew or neighbor to the party


    enroll him in the "Big Brothers/Little Brothers" program and he can help mentor a "little brother" for a while.

    Close enough...right?
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Or....maybe he could babysit a young difficult child boy- supervised, of course!

    I know I'm making light of this- I'm not a big fan of kids having cell phones but then that probably has a lot to do with my difficult child abusing privileges with them. I did look into several different types and the only ones that have all the safety/parental controls and lack of options I don't want him to have are made for very young kids- and look like it.
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well I would go for the baby brother over the cell phone considering all the trouble he can get into with a cell Did you know that they can charge teens with the adult crime of distributing kiddie porn if they send a naked picture of themselves or someone else and then they are labeled for life as a sex offender? OMG...too dangerous.

    I overheard a mother in Kmart the other day saying how she was getting her two kids -one 4 and one 8- a Nintendo DSi for Xmas because "everyone" in their classes had one. And she was going to get her 8 year old a cell phone because all his friends had cell phones! I think she is an idiot. Who hands a 4 year old an electronic game that costs 150 bucks? Maybe I am the idiot. I can see them playing the Wii at home on the tv but not something they can carry around and lose.
  14. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I'm with you on this one. Since when did the argument 'but all the other kids do' start to have merit with parents? Isn't this where you're supposed to respond "and if all the other kids jumped off a cliff..."?

    More and more parents seem to be losing their backbone!

  15. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Agreed. And we wonder why younger generations have such a HUGE sense of entitlement! :surprise:
  16. Andy

    Andy Active Member


    OMG - The cell phone I totally get from my 13 yr old but a baby brother? Too funny! (My difficult child would ask for cell phone or puppy)

    We are considering some type of track phone (only spend what is put on it so if it gets lost - or stolen - the finder can't get too much out of it) and put a very minimum amount on it. In January, I may let him attend the 7th/8th grade party. He would have no way of contacting us if he needs to be picked up early.

    We are finding that 7th grade is bringing some of these issues. I have no idea how my parents survived us not having a way of communicating when out and about.

    If we did get a track phone for difficult child's use, it would not be something he could carry 24/7. He would only carry it for certain events.

    When he started riding bike to a nearby convience store, I borrowed him my cell phone with instructions to call when he arrived at the busy highway and then again when he got across safely.
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    LOL! He knew how to make the cell phone look like a great idea, didn't he?

    I never thought about it that way, LOL!

    I'm thinking about TMobile with-pre-pd min and only a 3-10 # capacity. My cousin wants to buy it for him. She has no children. Of course, what he really wants is Internet svc. so I have to make sure that any ph I buy cannot have addt'l svcs added if he coughs up $25 and walks into the store on his own, for an add-on. IOW, I would be the only signer on the acct.
    Gotta think ahead.
    He has used my ph with-his friends and mostly they text, "Whassup?" "Nothin."
    "Eagles won, 20-zip." "So?"

    Notice my total evasion of the other option. ;)
    We gave our easy child a ph at age 12, but she was WAY more mature.
  18. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Cell phones can be a useful tool when parenting a child. Jessie got one just before 6th grade because she had what we were told was a very serious heart problem (turned out to be a badly done EKG and NOT a health problem). I was afraid she would be in the middle school and have trouble and not be able to get help. Mostly the teachers there pretend the halls don't exist so there are NEVER adults in the hallway.

    We got signed into a 1 year contract with her on our minutes.

    I was SURE that she was going to end up abusing it. She uses less than 40 minutes a month. No texts. Most of her friends are on the same carrier that we have so most calls are covered by that.

    Be sure the phone has a strap. You can put them on most phones. It can then be hooked to a belt or bookbag.

    They really ARE handy. If we are in the store and Jess wants to go look at music or use the restroom then I don't have to hunt her down. We just call each other to see where to meet. And if she is with friends and plans change she can call me easily.

    I can also call HER if I suspect she isn't where she is supposed to be. I haven't needed that, but my uncle used that a LOT to keep track of my cousin.

    Think about what this will do to your life. How it will change. Do you want/need that?

    As for all the other kids having one, well, who cares??? I wouldn't care. thank you has been trying this since 3rd grade. And I KNOW that 1 student is allowed to borrow her mom's phone if she goes somewhere with a friend. NONE of the other kids have phones, no matter what he says, LOL! So I just look at him and ask if he is expecting me to confiscate all the other kids' phones so they can be just like him?
  19. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    For my difficult child 1, no way in HE!! will I give him a phone with internet. He would be looking at porn every chance he got -- he's already shown he can't be trusted with unrestricted internet use on the home computer AND on MY PHONE when I wasn't looking (it's now passcode protected).

    We gave him his own prepaid AT&T GO phone for his 8th grade promotion. It's a very cheap, basic phone. I think I paid $15 for it on clearance... maybe less. I loaded $25 on it as part of the gift, with the specific instructions that when it ran out, it was up to him to cough up the $ to reload it. He's only been able to come up with money once since last June. Then an acquaintence texted him continually and ran up his charges so he suddenly had no minutes left! That taught him a hard lesson :) So he's had no minutes since mid-October, and all I can say is too bad, so sad. Do some chores and maybe you can earn some cash to reload it! And having husband out of work is a wonderful opportunity for me to teach the kids these tough lessons :D
  20. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Wow! I could ditto almost everything gvcmom said- about both my difficult child and what I tried with a prepaid phone. Then, I gave him 3 chances to earn his phone back and he blew every one of them. Now I'm accused of being too strict over that but I thought I was enforcing rules and being consistent.

    My son would not be able to handle internet OR camera. He couldn't handle texting. I know I could get him one with those things and just have consequences in place for if/when he abused the privilege but I have no desire to pay a monthly fee to give my son something that tempts his weaknesses. LOL! And with the prepaid, the parent can't know what is doone with the phone. Shoot, with my son I wouldn't even havee the advantage of being able to keep up with him. He would tell me he was someplace other than where he really was- having a phone doesn't make them honest- and then sometimes he would just turn the phone off.