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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 66703" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm with Kjs. If she's happy there, leave her there. </p><p></p><p>My older three went to an inner city school which was multiracial. Different mix to you, almost certainly, but still a real melting pot. A lot of the kids were various mixed race, too. The most predominant racial group was Aboriginal, with Anglo white coming a poor second, and then every Heinz variety under the sun. I guess even our lot fitted into the Heinz category.</p><p></p><p>They were generally all happy. They all learned a lot about multiculturalism - you have no choice, when you get a new student who is still learning English, but who tells you how his girlfriend was shot dead by a sniper as they walked hand in hand through the streets of Bosnia, only a few months earlier. Kids of 11 shouldn't have to deal with this sot of thing.</p><p></p><p>From there, easy child went to a selective school for gifted/talented. Exam entry. Because it was such a high standard, it was also a strong cultural mix, unlike most of our regional high schools. Her friends were more Anglo but still included Hispanic, Asian (various) and European. She also has beautiful hair and hated it.</p><p></p><p>I was just watching "Save the Last Dance" with Julia Stiles - she's playing a white girl in an AA school. A lot of the mannerisms and what I guess I would call racial stereotypes seem alien to me, hard to understand (subtitles, please!) and yet I KNOW they speak English, are intelligent, etc. And yet in this film the AA kids in this school chose to distinguish themselves as their own group, using these cultural clichés. It's something that kids do, all round the world. The Aboriginal kids in the streets round the school where our kids went - they have developed their own polyglot dialect which they switch into to mark themselves as belonging to their particular group, and to exclude those who don't belong.</p><p>As I was watching the film, I began to recognise the dialect, the swagger, the whole "I own hip-hop" attitude - we get it in some of the Middle-Eastern youth here. It's a sub-culture of "I am different, I'm going to push this difference in your face and flaunt it, to show you I don't care about your discrimination and your bad attitude towards me and my people." It's like they're channelling just about everything bad about Gansta Rap.</p><p>But the really sad thing here - by adopting this attitude (sham, in the case of these blokes in Australia) they are also adopting the mantle of being discriminated against, even when they're not. We see it in various white groups too, depending on where they live - they assume they are living in a ghetto area because the area has had a reputation of being 'rough' for years, then wear the chip on their shoulder like a badge of honour, almost flaunting it. The Cronulla riots were born of this sort of attitude, carried too far on Aussie beaches by idiots who believed their own propaganda. One of these young men has been undergoing a rather public reeducation campaign, as the 'white' groups he was attacking (and frankly, he's the same colour I am) have been helping him and supporting him, rather than attacking him. They took him on Kokoda Track, which is very hard to define - it's an honour to be allowed to go, and it helps to really understand what it is to be Australian, even if you weren't born in Australia. And it touched him too. He now belongs to Australia and knows it, in a way many of us can only dream. But even here, although he really tried in his own way, he would go into an interaction expecting to be attacked or ostracised simple because of his Lebanese parentage; and the others would sense the barriers he had up, and give him space, thinking he needed to be alone. Only later on could he see that the barriers were his, not the other kids (who all had their own problems). It's a long process for him, he's trying to be the bridge between his community and the so-called white Aussies, but a minority in both communities are still critical and hampering the process. His own friends see him as a traitor because he has abandoned their adopted chip on the shoulder (which, frankly, is just an excuse to have an adrenalin-charged brawl).</p><p></p><p>BF2 does this - he's an Anglo kid, from a somewhat rough part of town. But adopting the 'rough' attitude is a matter of personal choice, and in doing so, they adopt the assumption of being discriminated against, even when it's not true. Adopting this makes it real. BF2 is learning to drop the attitude - it doesn't wash with us. He's a good kid with no need for any sense of inferiority.</p><p></p><p>BF1 comes from a regional city with similar problems - it took me a long time to see it and then understand it. A sort of unhealthy competitive spirit is set up, with people living there saying, "You lot in Sydney are doing your best to make our city suffer. You look down on us and pity us - well, we don't want your pity!"</p><p>Meanwhile Sydneysiders are saying, "Whaaat? Where do you live again? You mean, there is a problem with that city? We always thought it was a cool place..."</p><p>The attitude produces the negative result they expect, purely out of expectation and attitude. It's like THEY are telling US how to feel about them, and then attacking us for it.</p><p></p><p>Back to your point - we don't live in the US so there are going to be nuances we don't understand, but what would concern me is having my child infected with this negative attitude. In Australia we have friendly rivalry between Sydney and Melbourne, but very few really take it seriously perhaps because, when you get down to it, each city is equal in different ways. But when inequality is real or merely perceived, negative attitudes can develop - either bravado or a sense of inadequacy - which can lead to a lot of miscommunication and chips on shoulders.</p><p></p><p>Your mixed race kids - it's great to be in touch with everything from our background, but not to the detriment of being able to function to the best of our ability, as far as possible. And attitudes like this are a barrier to smooth social functioning on a lot of levels. If an AA school, or mixed race school or whatever can give her access to a broader, healthier perspective then it's a really good thing. But if it narrows down to insular attitudes, wherever it is and whatever it is, then it's NOT good. I would be watching and listening closely, to whatever school you intend to send her to, and if you detect any hint of this sort of negative attitude, send her somewhere else, whether they're blue, purple or whatever.</p><p></p><p>Sorry if I offend anyone here, no racism is intended. That's the problem, I think - we sometimes confuse racial identity with racial segregation, often enforced by the minority groups who most want to be included.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 66703, member: 1991"] I'm with Kjs. If she's happy there, leave her there. My older three went to an inner city school which was multiracial. Different mix to you, almost certainly, but still a real melting pot. A lot of the kids were various mixed race, too. The most predominant racial group was Aboriginal, with Anglo white coming a poor second, and then every Heinz variety under the sun. I guess even our lot fitted into the Heinz category. They were generally all happy. They all learned a lot about multiculturalism - you have no choice, when you get a new student who is still learning English, but who tells you how his girlfriend was shot dead by a sniper as they walked hand in hand through the streets of Bosnia, only a few months earlier. Kids of 11 shouldn't have to deal with this sot of thing. From there, easy child went to a selective school for gifted/talented. Exam entry. Because it was such a high standard, it was also a strong cultural mix, unlike most of our regional high schools. Her friends were more Anglo but still included Hispanic, Asian (various) and European. She also has beautiful hair and hated it. I was just watching "Save the Last Dance" with Julia Stiles - she's playing a white girl in an AA school. A lot of the mannerisms and what I guess I would call racial stereotypes seem alien to me, hard to understand (subtitles, please!) and yet I KNOW they speak English, are intelligent, etc. And yet in this film the AA kids in this school chose to distinguish themselves as their own group, using these cultural clichés. It's something that kids do, all round the world. The Aboriginal kids in the streets round the school where our kids went - they have developed their own polyglot dialect which they switch into to mark themselves as belonging to their particular group, and to exclude those who don't belong. As I was watching the film, I began to recognise the dialect, the swagger, the whole "I own hip-hop" attitude - we get it in some of the Middle-Eastern youth here. It's a sub-culture of "I am different, I'm going to push this difference in your face and flaunt it, to show you I don't care about your discrimination and your bad attitude towards me and my people." It's like they're channelling just about everything bad about Gansta Rap. But the really sad thing here - by adopting this attitude (sham, in the case of these blokes in Australia) they are also adopting the mantle of being discriminated against, even when they're not. We see it in various white groups too, depending on where they live - they assume they are living in a ghetto area because the area has had a reputation of being 'rough' for years, then wear the chip on their shoulder like a badge of honour, almost flaunting it. The Cronulla riots were born of this sort of attitude, carried too far on Aussie beaches by idiots who believed their own propaganda. One of these young men has been undergoing a rather public reeducation campaign, as the 'white' groups he was attacking (and frankly, he's the same colour I am) have been helping him and supporting him, rather than attacking him. They took him on Kokoda Track, which is very hard to define - it's an honour to be allowed to go, and it helps to really understand what it is to be Australian, even if you weren't born in Australia. And it touched him too. He now belongs to Australia and knows it, in a way many of us can only dream. But even here, although he really tried in his own way, he would go into an interaction expecting to be attacked or ostracised simple because of his Lebanese parentage; and the others would sense the barriers he had up, and give him space, thinking he needed to be alone. Only later on could he see that the barriers were his, not the other kids (who all had their own problems). It's a long process for him, he's trying to be the bridge between his community and the so-called white Aussies, but a minority in both communities are still critical and hampering the process. His own friends see him as a traitor because he has abandoned their adopted chip on the shoulder (which, frankly, is just an excuse to have an adrenalin-charged brawl). BF2 does this - he's an Anglo kid, from a somewhat rough part of town. But adopting the 'rough' attitude is a matter of personal choice, and in doing so, they adopt the assumption of being discriminated against, even when it's not true. Adopting this makes it real. BF2 is learning to drop the attitude - it doesn't wash with us. He's a good kid with no need for any sense of inferiority. BF1 comes from a regional city with similar problems - it took me a long time to see it and then understand it. A sort of unhealthy competitive spirit is set up, with people living there saying, "You lot in Sydney are doing your best to make our city suffer. You look down on us and pity us - well, we don't want your pity!" Meanwhile Sydneysiders are saying, "Whaaat? Where do you live again? You mean, there is a problem with that city? We always thought it was a cool place..." The attitude produces the negative result they expect, purely out of expectation and attitude. It's like THEY are telling US how to feel about them, and then attacking us for it. Back to your point - we don't live in the US so there are going to be nuances we don't understand, but what would concern me is having my child infected with this negative attitude. In Australia we have friendly rivalry between Sydney and Melbourne, but very few really take it seriously perhaps because, when you get down to it, each city is equal in different ways. But when inequality is real or merely perceived, negative attitudes can develop - either bravado or a sense of inadequacy - which can lead to a lot of miscommunication and chips on shoulders. Your mixed race kids - it's great to be in touch with everything from our background, but not to the detriment of being able to function to the best of our ability, as far as possible. And attitudes like this are a barrier to smooth social functioning on a lot of levels. If an AA school, or mixed race school or whatever can give her access to a broader, healthier perspective then it's a really good thing. But if it narrows down to insular attitudes, wherever it is and whatever it is, then it's NOT good. I would be watching and listening closely, to whatever school you intend to send her to, and if you detect any hint of this sort of negative attitude, send her somewhere else, whether they're blue, purple or whatever. Sorry if I offend anyone here, no racism is intended. That's the problem, I think - we sometimes confuse racial identity with racial segregation, often enforced by the minority groups who most want to be included. Marg [/QUOTE]
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