I will try to skim the details. Barts pretrial court hearing about his sons school placement for next year did not go as expected, partly due to circunstances that were bizarre and unfortunate. So now he thinks he may lose residential custody and that his ex has rhe edge. He has no ability to sooth himself, no friends to call for support, and no coping skills when he is stressed other than to talk the subject into the ground and he calls me to give him, as he calls them, "pep talks," And I'd better say the right thing. It better put the pep in his Pepsi! This time, although I can pull it off sometimes, I am so flippen shocked at the quirks of today, my mind is not able to fabricate a pep talk. So he just called and, for the first time in a long time, I tensed up. But I feel sorry for him so I answered. It went something like this. Mom, I am so depressed and nervous. I need a pep talk. Well, dont worry. You dont know how this will turn out and if you dont get residential custody, you can sell your house and move close to your son anyway, like you did last time. Its not as serious as you are making it." (This was the best I could do. Im still processing the surprises myself) Mom, why is what you just said extremely stupid? (feeling clueless and getting angry) I give up. Why???? Because you just said I could move if I dont get residential custody! That means you think I may not win residential custody!!! How is that supposed to make me feel better???? If that's the best you got, then Im wasting my time here," "Yep, its the best I got. I will talk to you when you dont insult me. Love you." (Get off phone.) I tell my spouse who has some choice comments about what HE would have said, along with words like selfish, self centered, childish, etc. I nod. I agree. Sometimes I think Bart has narcissistic traits. I have another relative who is a narcissist and there are similarities. Thankfully Jumper saved the day, just after that, by texting us thank yous for coming out yesterday,buying her a vacuum cleaner and treating everyone to dinner. Sometimes it is hard to love them the same. Well, I think its more a matter of we love them all the same, but we dont like them equally. If I didnt love Bart, Id stop trying to help when he calls. He is by far my most difficult child. I am going to watch TV and this time I really won't answer the phone if he tries again. He needs a shrink, a male friend, a group of dads going through divorces, a DOG (but he hates animals)...but clearly he is overly dependent on me and I am not doing enough to detach from his problems. I clearly have to resign as his personal therapist and life coach combined and let him walk the rest of this journey alone. Yelling at me doesn't help him and sure does not help me. If I drank or smoked pot, id be doing it now.