for those mom's who put difficult child's on birth control...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ksm, Apr 1, 2013.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I am wondering if birth control has any side effects that we should be aware of - not just for the general population - but behavior related?

    At our last physical, when I asked the nurse privately about it, she suggested that we can put difficult child on it for protection, and also to help her acne. If you did this, did you tell the teen it was for birth control or just for acne or to regulate their cycle?

    I am so afraid that if GHG knew she was on bc pills, there would be no stopping her. I don't think she has been sexually active yet - but I know it is an issue we need to deal with soon. KSM
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I have no idea. But I think that the benefits far outweigh the risks when it comes to a difficult child.
    I only wish that male bc was ready to market.
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Some of the longer term stuff like Depo-Provera shots and the implants are not recommended for girls with depression. Also it will slow or stop periods. Onyxx has not had a period in over a year now. her last shot was Feb 2012 and she has been on the pill since...
  4. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately side effects of birth control are rather individual. I was once on the pill that certainly made me witch on wheels. And was very effective for birth control - I didn't let husband come closer than three feet away from me. However I have a friend to whom those same pills work well and without any side effects.

    Maybe you should start with ones that help also with acne and you can well tell that for now they are for acne and to help with her periods (both regulating the cycle but also helping with pain.) I would tell also that they work for contraception (she is old enough that she has a right to know what medications she is on and why) but because of STDs pills can not be an only contraception before she is married/in very long term relationship. And when she maybe has a steady boyfriend and wants to start her sexual life few years from now when she is older, she will also need to use condoms.

    You don't want her to think that you think she may be sexually active soon (that may even give her pressure to start earlier) but it may not be reasonable to expect her to wait that many years either. I think that best way is to reinforce that it is her body and her private decision. That she should wait till she really wants to become sexually active and that she should wait till she feels absolutely secure with the person she plans to start her sexual life with. I wouldn't talk much about what you want her to do, but try to help her understand that it is her decision and she has to feel good about it and shouldn't let anyone pressure her anyway when it comes to that.
  5. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    We put difficult child on them based off of her mood swings. I did tell her what they were and that they were contraceptives and warned her that they weren't 100% effective so her best bet was not to have sex. She did eventually wind up having sex anyway but at 17 there isn't much you can do to stop them.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My daughter (28) got severe moodswings from depo. I also couldn't take the pill. It made me lightheaded and out of it at work and one day I got so bad they took me to the hospital by ambulance, but I am very sensitive to medication. Still, I personally wouldn't put a teen on birth control unless I knew there was actually something going on. And I wouldn't lie about it either. JMO.
  7. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I am afraid that by the time I know something was going on - it would be too late. She is not up front about most of her behavior. KSM
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I understand why. Just that in our family we've seen a lot of side effects so that worries me. Also, it can be a big weight gainer.
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Due to easy child/difficult child's depression issues we have had her on bc since she was 14 or 15 (we tried that before trying an AD). She knew what it was but we haven't been overly concerned about her behavior. She has a lot of issues but, for her, that is one that she hasn't dealt with. She ended up with no weight gain either! However, I think it helps but not as much as we were hoping for.
  10. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Honestly in this day and age I think the kids know as much about sex as we do by the time they hit mid teens. Maybe not the actual doing it knowledge but the heard all about it and seen it on tv kind of knowledge. I honestly would rather put them on the pill and have that safety barrier.
  11. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    I am no difficult child, but bc has had terrible side effects for me. The latest one I tried actually suicidal thoughts! (it was the implant). It started slowly and my moods just kept on getting worse. I finally realized that something was up when the suicidal thoughts started. I have tried everything that exist and nothing works for me...
    I understand that my case is probably the exception, but I will be VERY cautious with my own daughter when she will be old enough. At any rate, I would tell her what it is and that we need to monitor it VERY closely. But that would require a very open communication... not easy with a difficult child.
    I think you need to prioritize what you want to accomplish: avoid a pregnancy (is the risk very high? will she use condoms?) or use bc for other purposes (acne, mood, cycles...).
    In either case, even if it is difficult, I would suggest you make her part of the decision. The risk and side effects are just to great.
    And like others said: talk about condoms!
  12. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately that is not true. And let's face it, even adults have alarming gaps on their knowledge of sexual health topics. There are lots of adults, who don't really know how whole reproduction thing works, even more so with teens. We have a lot compulsory sexual health teaching at schools than you have and still studies show our kids have awfully lot of misinformation and lack of knowledge. And I have seen studies from USA that are even worse.

    Kids do think they know everything. They have strong believes about things based on this or that. But actual knowledge, not so much. After all, half of the 'heard from friends or seen in tv'-type of 'knowledge' is in reality pure bs.
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2013
  13. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    I would not count on the fact that a teen heard it all... It actually a topic that is quite close to my heart because I had no grown ups in my life who actually talked to me about sex. It was not taboo, the family often made jokes about it but never a serious talk about it. Someone to relate personnal experiences and draw some lessons out of it: nope, did not happen. A few books about HIV on the shelf and that was basically it.
    Just too abstract for me as a teen... Women need to educate their daughters by sharing. Not sexual details obviously but emotions, feelings, consequences, parenting (and its difficulties) and health. No porn, teen talk or school sex class will ever be able to fill this gap.
  14. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    I agree the impact differs from person to person. I was on a very low dosage and could not handle my moods.... It was not pleasant. I did try three different types through my early twenties and they all had the same impact...,pure he** for everyone around me.
  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Suzir, that's not how it's supposed to work, lol!
    I was once on the pill that certainly made me witch on wheels. And was very effective for birth control - I didn't let husband come closer than three feet away from me.
  16. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Different methods and brands work differently for everyone. Once Storm gets interested in dating I'm getting her on birth control, but I've already made it clear to her that they ALL have failure rates and DON'T prevent STDs.