For those with teen daughters

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by robinm1922, Feb 10, 2009.

  1. robinm1922

    robinm1922 One day at a time

    My difficult child is 15 almost 16 one of her many problems are her cycles (I am sure you know what I mean) are not regular. She has had cycles since she was almost 13 and they have yet to be real regular. I would have to say every other month her cycle is on time and the other months it is late by any where from 1 to 3 weeks, assuming she doesn't skip it all together.
    Of course the biggest problem is the PMS that comes along with the cycle. On a normal month is is "doable" on a delayed month it is close to unbearable. This happens to be an unbearable month! We have a new psychiatrist appointment tonight (long overdue!) and this is something I am going to mention. I am wondering if birth control pills would help, I know she is not active and I don't think she has an interest in becoming active at this point (fingers crossed!). I have to do something she was more than just a little angry last night, she was almost scary she did tell me later after she became more human, that she felt like she could have easily hurt someone. She said she wouldn't have but she could see how people could become violent and how little it would take for it to happen.

    Is asking her regular doctor to put her on birth control asking for trouble? Part of me is thinking if she is going to be active she is going to be active without them, I don't know what to do. I know something has to give!
    Of course there is the concern that she is having problems at such a young age.

    I have made a long list of concerns for her new psychiatrist and I am so looking forward to the appointment tonight. The time has come to try some medications for ADD/ADHD or so I hope. If we don't do something now then this school year is a complete loss!
    Advice? Feedback?
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Robin, I'm a member of an online support group of parents of children with bipolar disorder. Several of the teen girls are taking birth control pills to both regulate their cycles as well as regulate their moods. Their parents report that it does indeed make the PMS around menstruation a whole lot better. I think you should talk it over with both her new psychiatrist and her pediatrician to see what they both think.

    With the use of birth control, there should also be a lot of talk about responsible sexual activity. You should provide her with your values -- whatever they may be -- about premarital sex and about emotional readiness. While the birth control pill certainly helps prevent an unwanted pregnancy, it doesn't prevent sexually transmitted diseases. Your daughter needs to be made aware of that fact and be told about taking precautions about disease.
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2009
  3. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    Hi Robin,
    my 17 yr old dtr has been on bc pills for a couple of years now. She, too, had irregular periods and the pms was awful. She was miserable for 2 weeks before her period. She says the pills help with the pms and she likes knowing when her period will come and also it doesn't last as long. I would definitely check with her psychiatrist about it. My dtr was referred to a gyn by her pediatrician for the birth control.
    Good luck!
  4. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    You might want to talk to a GYN about having her evaluated for PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome)---that's one of the most common causes of irregular cycling. It's important to figure out why she's not getting regular periods----too many docs will just put the girls on BCP with-o actually discovering the cause first. PCOS also has a strong relationship with insulin resistance and can lead to diabetes, heart disease, obesity, inappropriate hair growth, etc, etc if untreated. It's also the most common cause of infertility in women. BCPs are part of the usual treatment, anyway, but it's important to know if she has any other problems. PCOS may not be the cause of her irregular cycles, but it's definitely something to rule out, since she's 3 years into her cycle and still totally out-of-whack. ;)

    The birth control pill Yaz is supposed to be good for the hardcare PMS symptoms and will regulate cycles. I've had a lot of friends swear by it---especially the ones that reacted "badly" to other forms of hormonal birth control. Hope you find something that helps your gal!
  5. compassion

    compassion Member

    My daughter, age 15 started on Depovera two months ago. Her cycles are still irregular.
    My motivation to getting her on BC was pregnancy prevention.
    I would not know abou thte mood stuff casue she has rapid cycling bipolar plus when she was runnign so much took a lot of other substances. Now that she is in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) hopefully stabilization will occur. In one week, it is already amazingly better.
    I good place to get info is Scarletteens. They explain the options very clearly.
    I agree, SW about values and STD prevention. However, in manic stage of intense hypersexuality , it is like empyting the ocean with a teaspoon. I am making sure she get checked for Stds and Aids every three months , when she has her shots. She hates needles but this is vital for good health. She clamis that condoms alwys get used but I don Occupational Therapist (OT) trust the impulsivity espiclaly when bipolar and substances are involved. Compassion
  6. robinm1922

    robinm1922 One day at a time

    Great feedback everyone! I am going to look into the different options for birth control. I have talked A LOT with difficult child about the possibility of starting birth control and how that was not an invitation to start having sex. I also explained that it doesn't protect from VD's or in some cases even pregnancy! Her response is always "mom I am not having sex, I don't like any boy right now and even if I did I don't want to have sex".
    All I can do is keep my fingers crossed and the line of communication open.

    I am the product of child molestation at a young age, so my sexual experiences (on my own accord) started in my very early teens. I have grown a lot and am very lucky I have stayed clean! Talking about sex with my mother was not something I could do, one of the molester's was my father. He left when I was 9 so I never told. She still doesn't know, no need to say anything he is dead and gone. Sorry I digress!

    Thank you all for your input I know something has to give because the mood is horrible!
    Wish me luck with the new doctor!
  7. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    Just wanted to put in a few words as "devil's advocate"--

    Everone here seems to be generally in favor of the Pill--but it can be a roller-coaster when you start messing with hormones. I cannot take hormone-based medications because they have always affected me so terribly. I just wasn't myself most of the time with these types of drugs.

    And just an FYI--many of the new drugs available to treated PMDD (the most severe form of PMS) are just Prozac...markleted with a different name.

    I would definitely see a GYN and ask a LOT of questions...especially about the potential side-effects of any pill the doctor might recommend.

    Best of luck!

  8. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    Excellent point. I forget sometimes to hit up the basics! "The Pill" frequently takes several different attempts with- different types of pills to find something that works with-o side effects (much like our difficult child's other medications!), and sometimes someone's body just rejects ALL hormonal treatments. Some girls have devastating psychiatric effects, some girls have none at all. But you never know which one your daughter will be unless you try one, that's the drawback of the little suckers--there's really no predicting who will have a poor response ahead of time. Which is true for all hormonal birth control methods. doctor might have some suggestions as to which pills s/he may prefer for which patients. But there's no tried-n-true way of figuring it out, sadly. :)

    Can't they figure out better options for all of us already??
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would have no qualms about the BC Pill for PMS as far as thinking it would make my daughter have sex. If she's going to have sex, she will, with or without it. My problem with the BC Pill is that it CAN make hormonal kids and adults even worse and make the cycling even more horrendous. How do I know? I have always had wildly erratic periods (when I had periods--haha!) and I was put on BC pills three times. I was more moody and prone to bad outbursts on them than not on them and one time I almost passed out. There are serious health risks for the BC Pill. Do you know for sure that your daughter doesn't smoke cigarettes?
    I had terrible PMS. The right medications actually almost took the PMS away, but I realize it can be years before you find the right medications...good luck with your decision.
  10. robinm1922

    robinm1922 One day at a time

    Once again thanks for all the feedback. I am going to talk to psychiatrist about bc pills interfering with medications he gives, not for him to give them to difficult child. difficult child has a family doctor appointment next week will talk to her and see what she thinks we should do.
    Who knows maybe psychiatrist will change her medication again. Celexa isn't working as well as the Zoloft did before it stopped.

    Mid I am almost 100% sure my difficult child doesn't smoke, I am a ex smoker and would smell it on her in a heart beat! Not to mention none of her friends are smokers, I am keeping my fingers crossed she doesn't start very hard habit to quit!

    I have always been lucky with BC pills, not too many side effects, if she goes that route I will certainly watch for anything. I know she doesn't like herself when she is in the mood she has been in the last couple of days. Last night was the worse I have ever seen her, this time the timing works well with a dr appointment.
  11. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    My ktbug has been on hormones since the age of 11 or so. pediatrician doctor had more concerns about mood & cycle regulation, plus other various reasons.

    Saying that, it's helped with mood regulation & cycle regulation. kt is being watched closely (we see pediatrician doctor every 3 or 4 months) during this time.

    Whatever you decide I wish you & difficult child the best. It's always a "cr@pshoot" with our kids.
  12. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I've not had a chance to read the other replies, and it looks like there are many! I (and my daughter's peddoc) put my easy child on the pill when she was 14. For her, it was the severe cramping and side effects the dictated the need for the pill. Other pain management options were tried. She would miss a day of school a month.

    I have read on this board that the pill does not have negative impact on girls with BiPolar (BP) (if anything, I would wager a guess that it evens out the hormonal mood issues). Insofar as "asking for trouble", if your daughter is going to be sexually active, she will be sexually active - period. I would make sure that the lines of communication are really open and she clearly understands that a condom can prevent pregnancy (most of the time), but stds can be spread numerous ways........

  13. compassion

    compassion Member

    I personnly do not like hormonal birth control.
    I ruled out BC pills for daighter becasue of the complimant factor, you can easily forget to take them. With the shot, it is given every 3 months. She is highly impulsive so need somthing that does not depend on her.
    I do not want her being sexually active or dating but I am accepting where she is at and do not want to be grandmother at this point. Compassion
  14. robinm1922

    robinm1922 One day at a time

    I had a duhh moment last night, there are so many stinking appointments I got my self all messed up with dates. Her appointment is tonight not last night. To say the least difficult child stormed out of the office and took off to the car when she found out. Guess they have an idea of what will be coming through the doors tonight! We did get a chance to have a long conversation about BC pills and what they are for.
    The first thing she said was you need to tell all the doctors I need them for cycles and NOT because I am having sex because I AM NOT!

    Works for me! I made sure she understands this is not an open invitation, she could still get pregnant even on the pill and it doesn't stop STD's. She did apologize for her attitude when we left the office, she looked at me and said I wish I didn't feel like this, she feels angry and out of control. When she is really mad she doesn't care about how she treats people but when she is feeling better she feels guilty!

    I think the pills are the only way we are going to be able to go, she DOES NOT do shots, she has a needle phobia. Only if she has no other choice will she put her arm out for a shot, trust me if she has to get a shot everyone in the office knows about it!

    I have high hopes for tonight hope they are not squashed!
  15. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    Just tell her how awesome it will be to be able to predict when ole Aunt Flo is comin'! I was like her, and never became "regular"---I had NO idea what a pain in the butt it was, until I got on BCPs to fix it. It's life-changingly wonderful. :) Plus, she can take two packs straight if she's got a beach week or pool time with friends, schedule it so she gets it on the weekend OR the week, whatever she wants, etc, etc. Lighter, shorter, usually, too.

    If BCPs work out for her, she's got a new world ahead. It's amazing what a difference such a "little" thing makes. Oh, and they clear up your skin, usually. Haven't had a pimple since I started on 'em. There are SO many benefits. I hope it all works out!!!
  16. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    How'd it go? *fingers crossed for no blow-ups*
  17. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Wow, I was concerned about my 13-YO on the pill because they made me so nauseous. But from this it looks like they might even help with the BiPolar (BP) symptoms, although she has more PTSD issues right now. I had told her ages ago that if she decided she wanted them to let me know and I would take her - no questions asked - because of what happened when I was a teen. Well she finally asked so last Saturday we went to Planned Parenthood. She was really surprised me & Dad were so laid back about it. I don't want her to have sex but I REALLY don't want to raise a grandchild and this says to me she's trying to be responsible. She & boyfriend are never totally alone anyway. One the other hand she is not supposed to start them till after her next cycle and she has been really NUTS lately so I am wondering if she started them anyway... And they are messing with her hormones. I told husband it wasn't a good idea to let her give herself medications but got overruled (she is stepchild)... May have to reverse on this.
  18. robinm1922

    robinm1922 One day at a time

    Hi Eek last nights appointment was wonderful. I feel like this psychiatrist is going to be the right fit. Told me not to worry that he was going to make certain difficult child was medicated for the right stuff! Also found out I might be able to get her Neruo exam done after all that is huge!

    Increase of medications for two weeks if that doesn't work we are going to try Wellbutrine. They use that for ADHD in adults and it has worked really well.
    I feel good so far and thanks so much for asking!
  19. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I haven't read all of the responses, but...

    I took my daughter to the doctor a few months ago because she is very irregular still and she started her period at 11. My doctor said it can take up to 5 years for them to become regular. She said if after 5 years, they are not regular, they will probably never be. I had always heard growing up that it takes a year for them to become regular, so this was news to me.

    I was never a regular cycler.
  20. eekysign

    eekysign New Member

    If the cycles tend toward the "really long, totally erratic, or mostly non-existent" side of things, this is something to look at:

    If it's just that they wander off course by a few days each cycle, that's pretty normal. But for anything more serious, any good GYN should recommend a hormone check-up. :)