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Forgotten on Mother's Day
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 656297" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome SadMom, I'm glad you found this site. I'm sorry your heart is hurting. I have been there, all of us here on this site have been there.</p><p></p><p>I have lost track of how many years it's been since my son acknowledged me on Mothers Day, my birthday or Christmas. It used to really bother me and I too would be in tears but I've had many years to deal with it.</p><p></p><p>My son also prefers to party, his focus is on his drugs and drinking, not his mother.</p><p></p><p>I agree with what all the others have already posted.</p><p></p><p>It's hard to understand how our own child can be so selfish but the lure of the party lifestyle and the use of drugs and alcohol gets a hold of them, it turns them away from the family that truly loves them.</p><p></p><p>You will never be able to change your son. Trust me, I've tried with my own son. Our Difficult Child (difficult children) have made a choice in how they want to live their life and nothing we can do will dissuade them. They won't change until they get to a point that they have had enough.</p><p></p><p>The only person you have any control over is yourself. If you want to survive this heartache you need to start focusing on reclaiming your life. No more sitting around waiting for him to call you and message you on FB. It's time to start doing things for yourself. What is it that you used to do that you really enjoyed but haven't done in a long time, go do that. Find new hobbies, go for a walk, take a bubble bath, buy YOURSELF flowers. It's time to take your life back.</p><p></p><p>I would also give thought to not letting him live with you. If he is not contributing then why is he there? At 23 he should be taking care of himself. From what you posted he doesn't spend much time at your home anyway so it's apparent that he is capable of finding other living arrangements.</p><p></p><p>I don't want this to sound cold but the longer you allow him to live in your home the easier you are making it for him to not take responsibility for his own life.</p><p></p><p>Stay close to this site, there are many warrior parents here that have been through the battle with our Difficult Child and we have survived and we thrive.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you............</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 656297, member: 18516"] Welcome SadMom, I'm glad you found this site. I'm sorry your heart is hurting. I have been there, all of us here on this site have been there. I have lost track of how many years it's been since my son acknowledged me on Mothers Day, my birthday or Christmas. It used to really bother me and I too would be in tears but I've had many years to deal with it. My son also prefers to party, his focus is on his drugs and drinking, not his mother. I agree with what all the others have already posted. It's hard to understand how our own child can be so selfish but the lure of the party lifestyle and the use of drugs and alcohol gets a hold of them, it turns them away from the family that truly loves them. You will never be able to change your son. Trust me, I've tried with my own son. Our Difficult Child (difficult children) have made a choice in how they want to live their life and nothing we can do will dissuade them. They won't change until they get to a point that they have had enough. The only person you have any control over is yourself. If you want to survive this heartache you need to start focusing on reclaiming your life. No more sitting around waiting for him to call you and message you on FB. It's time to start doing things for yourself. What is it that you used to do that you really enjoyed but haven't done in a long time, go do that. Find new hobbies, go for a walk, take a bubble bath, buy YOURSELF flowers. It's time to take your life back. I would also give thought to not letting him live with you. If he is not contributing then why is he there? At 23 he should be taking care of himself. From what you posted he doesn't spend much time at your home anyway so it's apparent that he is capable of finding other living arrangements. I don't want this to sound cold but the longer you allow him to live in your home the easier you are making it for him to not take responsibility for his own life. Stay close to this site, there are many warrior parents here that have been through the battle with our Difficult Child and we have survived and we thrive. ((HUGS)) to you............ :notalone: [/QUOTE]
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