It appears that I have made some progress and/or stagnated with my bipolar. It is probably at as good a place as it is going to get. I truly feel that the meningitis and the 3 seizures basically did a form of ECT treatment on me and reset my brain somewhat. I am nowhere near as rapid cycling now as I was before I got sick. I probably only cycle now 4 or 5 times a year now badly. I have brief periods of time where I get "off" but I can get back pretty easily by figuring out what happened. Normally its something medical like being sick, too much of a steroid or some other trigger. Im not so easily angered anymore either. I am much calmer. I deal with things better. Its odd. That being said...I am way more anxiety laden. My ptsd is in overdrive. Its like I had a box with all my bad memories in it and it got knocked over and everything I hadnt thought of or remembered is now coming back. Im terrified that something bad will happen to Keyana like what happened to me. I keep thinking of what bad things can happen to little girls. You see it on tv all the time! It just scares me to death. She is 3...I was 3! I probably have 8 more months left of therapy to get through this. We are trying to figure out how to do it. Sigh.