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Found a water bong that difficult child was keeping for a friend
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 631300" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Once he is 18, anything he does is on him, not on you. My parents spent years worrying about this because they put my gfgbro in a school that didn't believe in 7th or 8th grade and put the boys (all boys school) from 6th gr into 9th grade. We moved right before his senior year and then he went to a reg school and all the trouble they were trying to avoid came right on back. He went to that school mostly because he needed a challenge as when he was bored he got into BIG trouble. Then they had to force him to go to college at 16 because otherwise they had a 16yo who was out of school doing nothing but causing trouble. It was NOT a fun couple of years for them, as you can imagine. </p><p></p><p>I think you would be only able to create a contract where living in your home and with your financial support only happened if he did certain things. Spell it out VERY clearly - drug tests, consequences for drug use, theft, suspicion of things, drinking, etc.... Spell out what EXACTLY you will and won't tolerate, provide, and your expectations as well as the ramifications of breaking the contract. Put into writing what you will evict him over and the amt of time he has to leave if he violates the contract. Be aware that unless specifically in the contract, you may have to give him a legal eviction notice to get him out of your home REGARDLESS of what he does. That can mean having a hostile adult teen in your home for 30-90+ days as he destroys everything he can get his hands on just because he is angry with you and your restrictions. Make it SUPER clear, and leave a clause that says that if he breaks any law he can be evicted with a specific amt of time for notice. I would spell out that ANY domestic violence or threat of DV results in automatic instant eviction of a permanent nature. I would put this in ANY contract with him regardless of whether you honestly believe he would ever threaten you. Otherwise it can get VERY scary. I have seen it firsthand and seen parents totally terrified for months until they could get an adult child out of their home - an adult child who was NEVER violent with them until that time. Make sure it is airtight and that you know it will be enforceable in your state.</p><p></p><p>State specifically what you will/won't be financially liable for, and check the state laws regarding what happens if he has an accident in your vehicle or brings someone home to spend a night. A friend of mine had her adult child bring a friend home for just one night and then had to deal with evicting the 'friend' who refused to leave for 2 months. In their state, one night in a residence gave you tenancy and you cannot just be asked to leave. Do NOT count on cops to know the residency laws as they often will interpret them to be what is easy for them. Specify who can stay overnight and under what circumstances just to be sure this does not happen to you.</p><p></p><p>I think you are very wise to get a contract written up before problems surface on that magic day of 'adulthood' where kids believe that you cannot make them do anything anymore. Be sure to put in that he has to let his docs speak to you or the medication/doctor situation could get difficult with him refusing to let his docs tell you anything. Make it non-negotiable if he wants any financial support from you. It is a common power play between kids and parents from what I have seen. </p><p></p><p>Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 631300, member: 1233"] Once he is 18, anything he does is on him, not on you. My parents spent years worrying about this because they put my gfgbro in a school that didn't believe in 7th or 8th grade and put the boys (all boys school) from 6th gr into 9th grade. We moved right before his senior year and then he went to a reg school and all the trouble they were trying to avoid came right on back. He went to that school mostly because he needed a challenge as when he was bored he got into BIG trouble. Then they had to force him to go to college at 16 because otherwise they had a 16yo who was out of school doing nothing but causing trouble. It was NOT a fun couple of years for them, as you can imagine. I think you would be only able to create a contract where living in your home and with your financial support only happened if he did certain things. Spell it out VERY clearly - drug tests, consequences for drug use, theft, suspicion of things, drinking, etc.... Spell out what EXACTLY you will and won't tolerate, provide, and your expectations as well as the ramifications of breaking the contract. Put into writing what you will evict him over and the amt of time he has to leave if he violates the contract. Be aware that unless specifically in the contract, you may have to give him a legal eviction notice to get him out of your home REGARDLESS of what he does. That can mean having a hostile adult teen in your home for 30-90+ days as he destroys everything he can get his hands on just because he is angry with you and your restrictions. Make it SUPER clear, and leave a clause that says that if he breaks any law he can be evicted with a specific amt of time for notice. I would spell out that ANY domestic violence or threat of DV results in automatic instant eviction of a permanent nature. I would put this in ANY contract with him regardless of whether you honestly believe he would ever threaten you. Otherwise it can get VERY scary. I have seen it firsthand and seen parents totally terrified for months until they could get an adult child out of their home - an adult child who was NEVER violent with them until that time. Make sure it is airtight and that you know it will be enforceable in your state. State specifically what you will/won't be financially liable for, and check the state laws regarding what happens if he has an accident in your vehicle or brings someone home to spend a night. A friend of mine had her adult child bring a friend home for just one night and then had to deal with evicting the 'friend' who refused to leave for 2 months. In their state, one night in a residence gave you tenancy and you cannot just be asked to leave. Do NOT count on cops to know the residency laws as they often will interpret them to be what is easy for them. Specify who can stay overnight and under what circumstances just to be sure this does not happen to you. I think you are very wise to get a contract written up before problems surface on that magic day of 'adulthood' where kids believe that you cannot make them do anything anymore. Be sure to put in that he has to let his docs speak to you or the medication/doctor situation could get difficult with him refusing to let his docs tell you anything. Make it non-negotiable if he wants any financial support from you. It is a common power play between kids and parents from what I have seen. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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