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Framed pictures around the house
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 622976" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi Blue. I too have many pictures all over my house of my two sons. easy child and difficult child. </p><p></p><p>I have not taken any of them down. In fact, there was a time when I would allow myself to stand in front of them and cry, just like you are. </p><p></p><p>I cried for all that was lost, for all that could have been and all that has not been. I cried for his lost potential and my broken dreams. I cried my heart out. </p><p></p><p>I believe that step (and many others) was necessary and very healing for me to get to this place. That is one of the steps in the grief process. Read about that process here (and there are many other places to read about them).</p><p></p><p><a href="http://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/" target="_blank">http://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/</a></p><p></p><p>Now, I can look at those pictures with a lot more balance in my emotions. I still sometimes feel sad, especially when I am tired and stressed.</p><p></p><p>But most of the time, I love those pictures. Even when I feel a pang and the fear starts to rise a little bit. It rises much, much less than it used to, even today, when my son in those pictures is homeless. </p><p></p><p>I would not take them down. Instead, they would be a barometer to me of my own progress. </p><p></p><p>I doubt I will ever just smile big and full and happy at those pictures. At least any time soon. This isn't the kind of thing where we'll say one day, I'll laugh about all of this. I don't think so. </p><p></p><p>But maybe one day, when my son chooses recovery and a good life as a contributing citizen, I will focus on that, instead of my pipe dreams of perfection I used to have when I look at his baby and toddler pictures. That wasn't reality either. </p><p></p><p>Hugs to you today. I get it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 622976, member: 17542"] Hi Blue. I too have many pictures all over my house of my two sons. easy child and difficult child. I have not taken any of them down. In fact, there was a time when I would allow myself to stand in front of them and cry, just like you are. I cried for all that was lost, for all that could have been and all that has not been. I cried for his lost potential and my broken dreams. I cried my heart out. I believe that step (and many others) was necessary and very healing for me to get to this place. That is one of the steps in the grief process. Read about that process here (and there are many other places to read about them). [url]http://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/[/url] Now, I can look at those pictures with a lot more balance in my emotions. I still sometimes feel sad, especially when I am tired and stressed. But most of the time, I love those pictures. Even when I feel a pang and the fear starts to rise a little bit. It rises much, much less than it used to, even today, when my son in those pictures is homeless. I would not take them down. Instead, they would be a barometer to me of my own progress. I doubt I will ever just smile big and full and happy at those pictures. At least any time soon. This isn't the kind of thing where we'll say one day, I'll laugh about all of this. I don't think so. But maybe one day, when my son chooses recovery and a good life as a contributing citizen, I will focus on that, instead of my pipe dreams of perfection I used to have when I look at his baby and toddler pictures. That wasn't reality either. Hugs to you today. I get it. [/QUOTE]
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