Fran...where are you? Suz...where are you?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DDD, Jan 2, 2014.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I truly are happy if your lives have leveled BUT I miss you. Can you send a "hello" to us? DDD
  2. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DDD, I think I saw Suz post recently. I haven't see Fran for a long time. I miss them, too.

  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Hi kids, I'm still here. Thanks for asking. Nancy, thanks for the head's up. I think of you often and read a bit when I can. Life is hectic and not so difficult child centered anymore.
    I moved to a north atlanta suburb in March from Raleigh. It was a bit of a "fixer upper" to put it mildly. It had been empty for 10 yrs. The owners then put "lipstick on a pig" to sell it. We have been working on the house for a long time but got the main floor finally finished in time for Christmas.
    I had a detached retina and surgery in early october. Retched activity restrictions, no driving and very little vision. About that time, my in laws were getting weaker and moved in with us Oct. 20th. The day they were on the plane I re detached my retina again. Another surgery and even worse activity restrictions. No travel, no lifting etc,. Meanwhile f i l was under hospice care and getting weaker. He passed away a week before Christmas and two days before my entire family showed up. It was a more subdued holiday but we are all glad he is at peace and was with his beloved wife and my husband until the end. We felt good that he left this earth the way he wanted. mother in law is still here and contemplating a life without her husband. She had been his primary caretaker for 2 yrs. So far we took her to a movie, an outlet mall, a restaurant and I'm trying to arrange a visit to Orlando in a few weeks. We aren't sure what her plan will be.
    difficult child and easy child were here for the holidays. easy child is doing well in Orlando and living a very nice independent young man's life. difficult child is working on a career with film and film editing. He has a pretty full life but still has issues that prevent him from being fully employed or independent. I think we realized we have done all we can do and will help encourage him but this may be the best he can be.
    My youngest brother moved from Pa. to Atlanta with his 6yr old and 4 yr old this summer . It has been nice to see the kids more frequently and to have some of my family nearby again.
    I have barely seen anything of Atlanta since I have been house bound for remodeling or eye issues but hopefully I will get out more. I love where I am and my new home. We have had a series of home issues that make you laugh at the end of the day.(giant flies, flying squirrels, cowkiller ants, just to mention a few) Raising a difficult child makes other obstacles and complications seem minor in comparison. I still don't sweat the small stuff.
    I can't believe it has been 15 yrs or more since I first logged on this site and quite a few years (6?) since I ran the site. Life moves faster and faster doesn't it?
    husband and I celebrated 32yrs of marriage Dec.26th. Yay!
    I hope you are well and that you have survived difficult child life. I'd love to hear how each of you are doing. Coming here is like curling up with a favorite blanket. It feels warm and safe. Happy New Years to all of you.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey Fran! So you left Carolina huh?

    Sorry about your father in law but I am glad he got to spend his time with you guys.

    I was almost in shock when you put in the post that it has been 15 years now. Boy time really does fly. Its been a bit over 15 for me too. Cory was 12 when I joined and is now 27! Obviously your signature is out of Im pretty sure your difficult child is older than mine.

    Hope you have a Happy New Year!
  5. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    Good to hear from you, Fran. Some of us "old" hands still check in here pretty regularly. My youngest difficult child and his wife just had their 4th baby!!!!!. Time flies.
  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi Fran! Nice to see you! My difficult child is 22 now. Works full time. Lives with my mother which is going surprisingly well. Has a car she makes car payments on (not always on time) and pays her own car insurance. Has taught others about using a checking account and debit card (one of those proud mama moments!).
    Jim & I celebrated 3 years married in Sept. Still love the house we bought together. Tried once again to sell my old house but ended up renting it out again keeping us landlords.
    My job gets more interesting and I am hoping to be on a project for implementing our new ERP system soon.

    All in all - things are great! Except for the weight gain I have seen since quitting smoking. Although even that has a positive side to it!
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Glad to hear you are in Atlanta. My easy child lives in Marietta and although I haven't been there in a few years...I'll add you to my list of people to hook up with I go North. Hugs. DDD
  8. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    How nice to hear some of your difficult child's are doing well. Wendy, I'm impressed that your difficult child is doing so well.
    Janet, it's great that your oldest is seeing someone.
    DDD, I'll be in Orlando in a few weeks, hopefully.
    Mutt, 4 kids!!!! wow. You must be loving being "grammy"
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good to see you Fran! I'm glad you are healing; it sounds like quite an ordeal. We are all doing o.k. at the Wiped household. difficult child is better than he has been in years (still has a very long way to go). Right now he is very into pottery and is even serving as a TA in a ceramics class. easy child/difficult child is going to the local community college and working but is still living at home. husband and I are looking forward to an empty nest some day!
  10. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Hi ! How nice of you to think of me, D3- thank you!

    It is wonderful to read your updates and hear your stories.

    Yes, 15 years ago for me, too. I was so desperate and frantic when I found this board. It saved my sanity, that's for sure, and I am ever grateful for the life long friends it introduced me to.

    I am happy to say that there is not much to report on my end. I am still working (way too hard) and have a new generation of rescue fuzzbutts to keep me company. Like Fran, I've had my own vision issues (but of a different kind) for the last four years and get shots in my left eye every few weeks. Yes, it is as horrifying as it sounds (I miss the old emoticons- imagine me screaming!). I used to check in now and then but this new board is unfortunately very difficult for me to read so it will probably be less frequent.

    Rob will be 30 in July! Thank goodness! I prayed so hard that he would survive his teen years and early 20's when he was completely wacky, homeless at times and all over the place. He has been engaged for several years now and they have an (almost) 4 year old daughter. As some might remember, he had a very serious motorcycle accident 3.5 years ago and still deals with the after effects of his Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), short term memory loss, and skewed vision. He has continued to have his struggles with addictive behaviors, now in remission (pleaseGodplease) for almost a year now. We have a guarded but good relationship and I am grateful.

    It seems that everywhere I go I still meet people with challenging kids. It's a huge community of bruised but not beaten parents. My newest Admin at work, she just started two weeks ago, has an ex-husband and daughter with bipolar. I always tell people that raising Rob gave me such a huge gift.....the gift of "appreciation." As much as we envied "normal" families when we were sharing our war stories here, they will never ever understand how truly wonderful it is to have ten minutes of peace...or a "normal" phone conversation with a child...or seeing your child hold onto a job, be successful as a parent, pay his bills, all of those things that we consider miracles and other families take for granted. I feel so lucky to understand what it is to appreciate the small miracles in our lives. I hope that if you are not having those miracles in your life now, that they will be there for you soon.


    PS, I'm still waiting for Richard to contact me...especially now that he is single again! Spread the word when you see him, will you? ;)
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the beautiful updates, you two!
    Fran, holy cow, you have been through a lot! So sorry about the house repairs and insect and animal menagerie. Amityville Horror? So sorry about your father in law and your detached retina. Glad you have family around you, though.
    Suz, 15 yrs for you, too? I'm so glad that Rob is 30 and things are going well. I have no idea who Richard is but this sounds interesting. :)
  12. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    "I have no idea who Richard is but this sounds interesting."

    LOL- my avatar............Richard Gere. I've always said that I was the future Mrs. Gere and now I'm waiting for him to find me. :)
  13. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    I'm also an old timer. Thanksgiving weekend of 1999 was my first log in. difficult child was in K then. He's still a work in progress but at 19, he's in college, an Eagle Scout and a decent young man though he is still his own worst enemy. I used to post under a different name which I can't remember.

    It's good to hear that everyone is doing well.
  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Once the "old" software got lost...I lost my start date, lol. I think it was 1998 or 1999. Time flies when you're having fun. :)

    Truthfully I don't know that I would have survived all those years of stress without the CD family. My loyalty to you all will remain as steadfast as my biological family loyalty. DDD
  15. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    So lovely to hear from you Fran and from you Suz. Is it already so many years? Yes, I suppose it is. I still remember when I discovered this place. It must be about 15 years for me too. My difficult child is now 27, he is in Australia, and he is holding down a job running a cafe, and is supporting himself. We are in touch, and I am going to visit him in Australia in six weeks' time. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder -- when he left about 3 years ago I was thrilled that he was going to the other side of the world (!) but as time went by I began to miss him (I never thought I would) and now both he and I are looking forward to my visit. What Suz wrote about the gift of "appreciation" -- that is so true. The priorities in life take on different proportions and you just know what is not important to get upset about, and you know how to appreciate what you have got.

    Fran, I hope your health is OK now. Look after yourself. And please give my love to your husband and to your easy child whom I met when I was with you in Texas. Oh boy, that was a long time ago -- about eight years ago or nine maybe.

    I still think this board is the best thing ever invented. Saved my life.

    Love, Esther
  16. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    It saved mine, too, Ester. :)

    My difficult child is now 20. He graduated high school and is working. Treading water, but hanging in there. Ex and mine's separation and divorce put him in a tailspin he's still recovering from.

    I'm worn out and used up but starting to catch my breath and put me back together. :)

    Great to see that the oldtimers did survived and even thrive. We've seen oceans of water run under the bridge. Great to see that others have stepped in to help new(er) members keep from loosing their minds.

    Hope the New Year is the best ever for all.

    Sent from my iPhone using ConductDisorders
  17. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Glad to read the updates of some old timers :) Danny has been out on his own for a little over a year, renting a house up the road from us (which is better than the one he was looking to rent 4 houses down LOL) At first we did a lot of eyebrow raising starting with the lease of 2,300 a month and childhood difficult child friends for roommates.:rolleyes: But he has handled it all pretty well, working two jobs plus has his own side gig of building/repairing computers. Once in a while he comes over to have coffee with me in the morning, and I get to listen to the woes of roommates not doing their share of cleaning, how high the electric bill is, the gardener being lazy and not trimming the plants but its all good. Jamie still lives at home but has a busy life working and going out with friends so we hardly see him. Have no contact with eldest or grandkids-some not so nice things went down and its better this way. My tolerance for crazy is extremely limited and just no time for drama anymore. And for me, after two major operations, have been out on disability for about 6 months and have no desire to join back up with the rat race, so will probably officially retire soon.

    Am still with SO, will be 20 years this year. We are enjoying ourselves finally with no kids to fret over.

  18. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    What a wonderful update. There is hope for those with younger kids. I never thought my difficult child would ever have a life that wasn't based on living with me and complaining the whole time. Like the rest of you, it isn't perfect but I appreciate what he does have and do.
    Sheila, I am sorry to hear your son struggled through the separation. It's heartbreaking. Give him a hug from me. I remember meeting him as a small kiddo and your beautiful memory book you made for him.

    Esther, I remember our time together so fondly. I hope someday to see you again. Your family grows and gives you so much joy. Hope husband is doing well also.

    Marcie, your stories often gave me a good laugh at how incredibly stupid our difficult children were as teens. You describe it in such a way that we laughed through our tears.

    Wendy, your daughter is a real inspiration and Happy married life for 3 whole years is a great reward for your struggle. Enjoy it.

    Wiped out, I never thought you would survive to this point. Your difficult child was quite the challenge. My fingers are crossed that you will have growing success.

    Terry, how nice to see you again. It has been a long time.

    Svenghandi, I have no idea who you are unfortunately.

    DDD thanks for looking for me. It warmed my heart.
  19. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Funny how many of us started around Thanksgiving. I guess that I am a relative newcomer, in that I joined around Thanksgiving of 2002, so only 11 years for me. I came across Kris' email a few days ago and thought back to that long-ago time. I miss her to this day, and hope that her kids are ok.

    I'm glad to have the updates from you all. It's good to know that life really does go on for us with different bumps in the road. I feel as though the road is not nearly so rocky as it used to be, and hope that this gives others who are in the shoes we were in all those years ago inspiration to keep on truckin'!
  20. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    What a wonderful thread! It warms my heart to see that we go through that long long tunnel of heartache and come out at the other end, and can get on with living our lives (plus/minus). I wish it for everyone.

    Love, Esther
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