New to site. Blessing. To sum up: fraternal twins 16 girls. One with conduct disorder since 5th grade. She hasnt seen her sister in over 2 years. I'm just lost. There was always supposed to be the 2 of them forever together. Police took her in 2013; social services; no jail time. Just residential then 5 foster homes then 2 more residential then at her 6th foster home. Continues to be aggressive, non-compliant, picking fights. Two felony assault charges no time anger management through court. Over a year ago she decided she didn't want to come home and social services agreed saying she needs to continue to work on issues. I stopped phone contact after she called me liar about being molested by my dad. Lied about sending them to school dirty and how she was upset after I got sick with MRSA and that I had asked for a little help around house. Then another time when I was crying over behavior and wondering how she had changed from the happy little girl I had raised she told me to get over it, that little girl was gone said with no tears in a cold flat voice with eyes as dead a s a shark. So this year I signed into her state custody because I was sick and tired of sworkers making home visits to a home she was never going to return to. Also I don/t want to be held liable if she does anything else criminal. Just this past month she friended me on Facebook and I sent her 3 short but heartfelt messages. No reply not even to her sister. I am so scared she is already turning into her biological father who is a sociopath. Police called him sexual predator. Abusive, no remorse, anger, just no heart. I see this in her. The way she has spoken to me and what she has said. She was a mommys girl and loved being with her sister. They spent all their time together. I feel like I'm buried in grief and have lost all confidence in myself as a mother. I've had insomnia for almost a year, on 3 different mental medications, and I just lost an amazing job because of the lack of sleep and stress. I don't even want to leave the house much anymore and I would just rather skip holidays. I'm trying to be their for my other daughter and she knows I love her. She has PTSD and anxiety. I just miss her so much. It hurts all the time. I don't have any support from family or friends. So maybe here that will change. What do I do with the first 13 years of pictures of my 2 precious babies which is such a heartbreaking reminder that she is't here now. Sorry to ramble