Hi, I'm new here ... lots of questions, but one is uppermost in my mind right now. My son is ADD and in 10th grade. We live in a European country which, unfortunately, is still in the dark ages where ADD is concerned, and no services whatsoever are offered in his school, so am having to figure things out as I go along. He is doing reasonably well in school, but it takes a huge amount of time and energy on my part to make sure he keeps up with his work. Left to his own devices, he simply will not study .. in fact he goes to elaborate lengths to avoid it, not only lying about what he has been assigned, but even doctoring assignments with white-out and cut-and-paste, and taping together pages of textbooks, to make assignments appear shorter. On several occasions recently he has cut classes, and has tried covering up by lying and forging notes. He has an explosive temper, and when caught lying or evading he often throws things and makes threatening remarks to me (although he has never hurt me.) I have read several books on teens with ADD and have tried things they suggested to de-fuse homework battles ... contracts, rewards & incentives, etc. Nothing has worked, although I have at least learned to control my own temper. But I feel constantly exhausted and worried that things will spin out of control. I feel like we are stuck in a dynamic where the harder I push, the harder he resists. I went to a psychologist here who has some experience with ADD. I asked her what would happen if I simply backed off and let him take the consequences of his refusal to study. She said he would probably flunk and would be held back a year. I would appreciate any thoughts /suggestions on this.
frazzled and worried
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