In regard to this baby and untenable situation ... I keep waking up really shaky and headachey and out of sorts. I need to exercise more. But I am still keeping my dr and dental appts, a few of my chiro appts, painting, writing, doing dishes, etc. trying to keep a routine. I have a few friends for a support system but no one 24/7. husband is terribly non-supportive. And I am not supportive of him. We talk about National Geographic and politics. That's easy. We fight about me being late and not remembering things and misplacing things. He is a bit Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and puts things away when I'm in the middle of things. Like, oil, when I'm cooking. And silverware when I'm setting the table. (And now I have a clue as to where missing things go ... in the cupboard or in the trash.) Here's an ex. of an argument: He yelled at me two nights in a row for being late to home ... last night we spoke on the phone and we were both in our cars. He was on his way home from a conference. I had no idea when he would be home (we have an erasable calendar in the kitchen but he rarely uses it) so I planned all of my work and errands, and then Cousin P. last, where I would do a wine-and-paint because she's in hospice and can have wine. It was approx. 6:30 so for whatever reason, I said I'd plan to be home around 7:30. No way could I have made that time. I should have just told him that I was going to stay until 10. Buh-bye. But since we've been so busy and overwhelmed, I thought I'd come home. He said, "Okay, but I'm really tired and I'm going to make a pizza and go to bed. And there's a lot of traffic here." I fed and changed Cousin P. (why do they keep putting her in a hospital gown when she's got plenty of clothes? I guess it's easier to change her. ) and listened to her ramble, and when she nodded off, I packed up her laundry and left. husband called me on my cell phone when I was 3/4 of the way home and yelled at me for being late. Just what I needed. When I got home, I told him that now I was mad, because I thought that when he'd said, "but," it negated the idea that I'd be home at 7:30. Like, don't expect anything--movie, talking, whatever. I'm going to bed early. We both have too much to do. And he is hurt that I seem to not want to be around him. I said, "You're right. When you yell at me, I have no desire to be around you. I should have stayed with-Cousin P. until 10 p.m." For the record, he hates Cousin P. and hates that I brought her down from NY. His family isn't into that. They abandon one another. He met up with his brother in St. Paul in Sept. for the first time in 7 yrs. He's not supportive of Difficult Child, either. He lectures him and tells him that all is forgiven by Jesus and his parents but he's got to get a job, too, and get good grades and move out. And then he doesn't introduce him to guys at Rotary Club or The Boys Club or network with him. He doesn't stick around to follow through on meetings, phonecalls, dr appts, etc. Difficult Child sees him as a talking head. I'm either getting a bug that's going around, or coming apart at the seams. Or both.