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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 668792" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>This is too much. Are you seeing a counselor? And then also one for the two of you together?</p><p></p><p>I meet sometimes with this wonderful lady in my neighborhood with a difficult child the same age as mine, but with slightly different problems. We've handled some things the same, some different and many things similarly.</p><p></p><p>Her husband has a high powered job at a chain store. This store is popular in our city. However, he will NOT get his son a job at the store. I totally "get " this. He will support him in many many other ways. </p><p></p><p>We are similar...sort of. If we frequent a certain restaurant a lot, we rarely will take our difficult child to that restaurant. We pick another equally nice, but different restaurant. I do NOT take her to get her hair where I get my hair done. I pick good places, but different ones. difficult child is not allowed to show up where my husband works. She did a few weeks ago and it infuriated him. Unannounced, smelled, etc. </p><p></p><p> Yes, it is sad. It is weird. It seems unfair. I've been burned too many times. We all have.</p><p></p><p>So, we will help our difficult child if she wants to pursue a worthwhile goal. But sadly, we won't let it interfere with our lives.</p><p></p><p>husband and I went to therapy a number of years due to difficult child "stuff." We even got along very well , but this was too much and it's too much for most everybody.</p><p></p><p>If your husband agrees to therapy, definately go together ASAP.</p><p></p><p>And for goodness sakes, you two need a nice vacation together. Even just a three or four day weekend. Lock up the house like Fort Knox and have a trust worthy friend checking on it. If you've got some guilt re difficult child, give him a gc to the food store to cover food but that's it. Let him fend for himself. in my humble opinion, you should take care of yourself first and your marriage a very close second. </p><p></p><p>Wishing you wel....prayers for you and your family continue.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 668792, member: 4152"] This is too much. Are you seeing a counselor? And then also one for the two of you together? I meet sometimes with this wonderful lady in my neighborhood with a difficult child the same age as mine, but with slightly different problems. We've handled some things the same, some different and many things similarly. Her husband has a high powered job at a chain store. This store is popular in our city. However, he will NOT get his son a job at the store. I totally "get " this. He will support him in many many other ways. We are similar...sort of. If we frequent a certain restaurant a lot, we rarely will take our difficult child to that restaurant. We pick another equally nice, but different restaurant. I do NOT take her to get her hair where I get my hair done. I pick good places, but different ones. difficult child is not allowed to show up where my husband works. She did a few weeks ago and it infuriated him. Unannounced, smelled, etc. Yes, it is sad. It is weird. It seems unfair. I've been burned too many times. We all have. So, we will help our difficult child if she wants to pursue a worthwhile goal. But sadly, we won't let it interfere with our lives. husband and I went to therapy a number of years due to difficult child "stuff." We even got along very well , but this was too much and it's too much for most everybody. If your husband agrees to therapy, definately go together ASAP. And for goodness sakes, you two need a nice vacation together. Even just a three or four day weekend. Lock up the house like Fort Knox and have a trust worthy friend checking on it. If you've got some guilt re difficult child, give him a gc to the food store to cover food but that's it. Let him fend for himself. in my humble opinion, you should take care of yourself first and your marriage a very close second. Wishing you wel....prayers for you and your family continue. [/QUOTE]
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