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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 653036" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I think progress....any progress....is a good sign.</p><p></p><p>Difficult children are sometimes just difficult and slow to launch. I see all of our kids on a continuum...starting with doing great all the way to in the toilet.</p><p></p><p>My son has been in the toilet. That doesn't mean yours will.</p><p></p><p>My son went to college right after high school and promptly completely flunked out. He had, if I remember correctly (who would have thought I would EVER forget) something like 3 Fs, 1 D and 1 C. Deplorable grades. I marched him right up to the university office to the Dean (assistant Dean met with us, I think) and we had a "good talk" that was going to "straighten him out." So I thought. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, he stayed one more semester before that was over at the four-year university and then we paid for the community college for several semesters while he continued to fool around, drop classes, withdraw from classes (without our knowledge), not go to class, pay people to do his work...on and on. The drug use was escalating, I'm sure, but we were clueless. I thought he was just immature, lazy and dumber than dirt about his own life. It seemed that he did the very opposite of what made sense in every single situation.</p><p></p><p>Little did I know. In time of course all of that got even worse, in our case. There was, quite frankly, no progress at all, just more and more downturns. I was a very very slow learner and didn't get "it" for a long long long time.</p><p></p><p>I just thought....</p><p></p><p>So I kept patching him up, shoving him forward, dragging him here and there to all kinds of therapists, doctors, etc., to try to figure out "what in the world is wrong with him?"</p><p></p><p>All the time he was using more and more drugs and alcohol and the pit just got deeper and deeper...</p><p></p><p>Your son may very well not be in that same situation, and I would tell you that some progress is a very good sign. See what happens. Continue to set boundaries and let him deal with the consequences of those boundaries. He needs to be busy and have some responsibilities, whatever you decide those are. </p><p></p><p>I hope and pray he turns himself around and keeps on moving in a good direction. Keep us posted. We are here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 653036, member: 17542"] I think progress....any progress....is a good sign. Difficult children are sometimes just difficult and slow to launch. I see all of our kids on a continuum...starting with doing great all the way to in the toilet. My son has been in the toilet. That doesn't mean yours will. My son went to college right after high school and promptly completely flunked out. He had, if I remember correctly (who would have thought I would EVER forget) something like 3 Fs, 1 D and 1 C. Deplorable grades. I marched him right up to the university office to the Dean (assistant Dean met with us, I think) and we had a "good talk" that was going to "straighten him out." So I thought. Anyway, he stayed one more semester before that was over at the four-year university and then we paid for the community college for several semesters while he continued to fool around, drop classes, withdraw from classes (without our knowledge), not go to class, pay people to do his work...on and on. The drug use was escalating, I'm sure, but we were clueless. I thought he was just immature, lazy and dumber than dirt about his own life. It seemed that he did the very opposite of what made sense in every single situation. Little did I know. In time of course all of that got even worse, in our case. There was, quite frankly, no progress at all, just more and more downturns. I was a very very slow learner and didn't get "it" for a long long long time. I just thought.... So I kept patching him up, shoving him forward, dragging him here and there to all kinds of therapists, doctors, etc., to try to figure out "what in the world is wrong with him?" All the time he was using more and more drugs and alcohol and the pit just got deeper and deeper... Your son may very well not be in that same situation, and I would tell you that some progress is a very good sign. See what happens. Continue to set boundaries and let him deal with the consequences of those boundaries. He needs to be busy and have some responsibilities, whatever you decide those are. I hope and pray he turns himself around and keeps on moving in a good direction. Keep us posted. We are here for you. [/QUOTE]
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