DS3
New Member
Have any of you gone through the frustration of family and friends not believing you? I don't even know if that is the correct term for it.
It's just nagging at me, that for most of this week when I have called -mainly just to chat, not even to vent - almost everyone I have talked to has responded to everything I am doing with my son with;
"Is all of this really necessary?"
"Is he alright? Man he has so many labels..."
"How did we ever manage to raise our kids without all of these interventions?"
"Why is everything another diagnosis with you?"
"Are you sure he has all of these issues/problems?"
I mean, every SINGLE time I have talked to someone recently, one of these come up.
I usually respond politely with: (in order) yes, and he will be, I don't know, it's not, and yes. Then I can go into a spiel about how technology has advanced so much, it's a new day and age, if the help is out there, why not use it?, Mothers are so secluded versus what it was when you were raising kids, et cetera. I take a political stance basically.
But man, the last person to ask me a question was my husband (and he deserves to know the answers, after all it is his son.) And I basically blew up over the phone at him because I have had so many redundant and stupid questions asked this week.
It makes me question my friendships and my family members. Hell my family members haven't been around my son for any length of time in over a year. They don't know my day to day frustrations. I actually even started typing up a 'terms frequently used' list so that I could email it to everyone and not have to answer the same 'what's Occupational Therapist (OT) stand for?' questions.
I mean, I don't go looking for a diagnosis for my son. I am told about a possible 'issue' and then get it checked out. If it becomes a diagnosis, so be it. Not all of these therapies or diagnosis's will stick as he gets older. My husband is a great one for saying 'But he's only 4!'. I want to shove that down his throat some days. He's not here day in and day out. difficult child adores daddy and is better behaved when he's around. So he's not going to see it. And yes, it is worse when he's away.
~sigh~ Why don't they understand? I've tried explaining and explaining, and I still get the same dumb questions/phrases.
by the way, I got asked the same question 4 times in 1 day regarding another family member and if I knew what was going on. I finally said, "It's not that I don't care, I can't care right now". I don't think they liked it that much. But I honestly don't have time for petty rumors and who changed what. If it's not relevant to me, or my family, there is nothing I can do about it. If that said person doesn't contact me, or answer the phone, I'm not going to know about it. And honestly, I am 3800 miles away and could care less at this particular moment.
So what I've decided is that I need a 'phone buddy' of sorts who isn't going to tell me that what I am doing is too much (or at least that's the way I am taking it). If anyone is interested, pop me a message with your name/phone/time zone and when is too late to call. Cause right now, I have the forum board and that's about it.
End of rant for now.
<----------- Kind of feel like this with my family and friends at the moment.
It's just nagging at me, that for most of this week when I have called -mainly just to chat, not even to vent - almost everyone I have talked to has responded to everything I am doing with my son with;
"Is all of this really necessary?"
"Is he alright? Man he has so many labels..."
"How did we ever manage to raise our kids without all of these interventions?"
"Why is everything another diagnosis with you?"
"Are you sure he has all of these issues/problems?"
I mean, every SINGLE time I have talked to someone recently, one of these come up.
I usually respond politely with: (in order) yes, and he will be, I don't know, it's not, and yes. Then I can go into a spiel about how technology has advanced so much, it's a new day and age, if the help is out there, why not use it?, Mothers are so secluded versus what it was when you were raising kids, et cetera. I take a political stance basically.
But man, the last person to ask me a question was my husband (and he deserves to know the answers, after all it is his son.) And I basically blew up over the phone at him because I have had so many redundant and stupid questions asked this week.
It makes me question my friendships and my family members. Hell my family members haven't been around my son for any length of time in over a year. They don't know my day to day frustrations. I actually even started typing up a 'terms frequently used' list so that I could email it to everyone and not have to answer the same 'what's Occupational Therapist (OT) stand for?' questions.
I mean, I don't go looking for a diagnosis for my son. I am told about a possible 'issue' and then get it checked out. If it becomes a diagnosis, so be it. Not all of these therapies or diagnosis's will stick as he gets older. My husband is a great one for saying 'But he's only 4!'. I want to shove that down his throat some days. He's not here day in and day out. difficult child adores daddy and is better behaved when he's around. So he's not going to see it. And yes, it is worse when he's away.
~sigh~ Why don't they understand? I've tried explaining and explaining, and I still get the same dumb questions/phrases.
by the way, I got asked the same question 4 times in 1 day regarding another family member and if I knew what was going on. I finally said, "It's not that I don't care, I can't care right now". I don't think they liked it that much. But I honestly don't have time for petty rumors and who changed what. If it's not relevant to me, or my family, there is nothing I can do about it. If that said person doesn't contact me, or answer the phone, I'm not going to know about it. And honestly, I am 3800 miles away and could care less at this particular moment.
So what I've decided is that I need a 'phone buddy' of sorts who isn't going to tell me that what I am doing is too much (or at least that's the way I am taking it). If anyone is interested, pop me a message with your name/phone/time zone and when is too late to call. Cause right now, I have the forum board and that's about it.
End of rant for now.
<----------- Kind of feel like this with my family and friends at the moment.