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frustrated....help....suggestions
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 540392" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Welcome to the board <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>You've already gotten some great advice. </p><p></p><p>I'm going to ditto what MWM suggested about your boyfriend. If he already dislikes difficult child (your son).......it's only going to get worse, much worse, unless your son can make a complete turnaround.......and that is unlikely to happen in the near future, such things take time and much effort. If he isn't getting that your son has dxes and issues that cause him to act out the way he does, and educating him is not helping.......I'd seriously take a very hard look at your situation and rethink it. You love him, he loves you......doesn't have an issue (I'm guessing) with the other kids.....but difficult child is a no go. To me, you and all your kids are a package deal, it's all or nothing. (not that I don't understand that difficult children in full blown difficult child mode are difficult at best to like, even if you're the biological parent) Because the odds are high that if your boyfriend can't get with the program, he's going to make the situation worse by not helping you to handle it properly, and eventually testosterone will rule and they'll be facing each other down one day. Not a good thing.</p><p></p><p>I totally agree to call the police each and every time he gets violent. Even if they don't do something each time, you need to establish a pattern of behavior, a record so to speak. And honestly, difficult child, regardless of his dxes, needs to learn there are consequences for his behaviors. He's not getting any younger, or smaller. </p><p></p><p>I'd not only call the police, but I'd see about an ER visit (even with police escort if needed) when he gets violent. Danger to self and others is grounds to admit to psychiatric hospital. </p><p></p><p>If he's not had a good neuropsychologist evaluation, I highly recommend having it done to be certain his dxes are accurate.</p><p></p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 540392, member: 84"] Welcome to the board :) You've already gotten some great advice. I'm going to ditto what MWM suggested about your boyfriend. If he already dislikes difficult child (your son).......it's only going to get worse, much worse, unless your son can make a complete turnaround.......and that is unlikely to happen in the near future, such things take time and much effort. If he isn't getting that your son has dxes and issues that cause him to act out the way he does, and educating him is not helping.......I'd seriously take a very hard look at your situation and rethink it. You love him, he loves you......doesn't have an issue (I'm guessing) with the other kids.....but difficult child is a no go. To me, you and all your kids are a package deal, it's all or nothing. (not that I don't understand that difficult children in full blown difficult child mode are difficult at best to like, even if you're the biological parent) Because the odds are high that if your boyfriend can't get with the program, he's going to make the situation worse by not helping you to handle it properly, and eventually testosterone will rule and they'll be facing each other down one day. Not a good thing. I totally agree to call the police each and every time he gets violent. Even if they don't do something each time, you need to establish a pattern of behavior, a record so to speak. And honestly, difficult child, regardless of his dxes, needs to learn there are consequences for his behaviors. He's not getting any younger, or smaller. I'd not only call the police, but I'd see about an ER visit (even with police escort if needed) when he gets violent. Danger to self and others is grounds to admit to psychiatric hospital. If he's not had a good neuropsychologist evaluation, I highly recommend having it done to be certain his dxes are accurate. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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