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frustrated....help....suggestions
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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 540760"><p>He doesn't have to be his punching bag and I completely understand the desire to protect you. In this case, however, there was no need for him to get involved since you were taking care of it. I know it's hard to explain things to some kids but the oldest needs to let you be the parent. Absolutely he should be allowed to defend himself and you but difficult child wasn't going after you or him from what you described this time. Oldest came out to see what was going on. I get the curiosity but at that point, he should have gone back in or at the very least he should have followed your direction to go for a walk to cool off. It sounds like the oldest is trying to handle things his way and that is only going to make things worse. I'm not trying to sound critical, really I'm not. It's just that I'm walking in your shoes with my twins and I can see how my difficult child 2 makes things worse. It's one of difficult child 1's biggest triggers because difficult child 2 "isn't the boss" which is how difficult child 1 sees him when he does the things you describe your oldest as doing.</p><p></p><p>Any luck on the medication front? Having been there too, I really think you need to do some changing in that department. The medications either aren't working or they are causing the aggression as a couple medications did with difficult child 1. I had to DEMAND that things be changed because the psychiatrists didn't believe the medications were causing it. I proved them wrong.</p><p></p><p>{{{{HUGS}}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 540760"] He doesn't have to be his punching bag and I completely understand the desire to protect you. In this case, however, there was no need for him to get involved since you were taking care of it. I know it's hard to explain things to some kids but the oldest needs to let you be the parent. Absolutely he should be allowed to defend himself and you but difficult child wasn't going after you or him from what you described this time. Oldest came out to see what was going on. I get the curiosity but at that point, he should have gone back in or at the very least he should have followed your direction to go for a walk to cool off. It sounds like the oldest is trying to handle things his way and that is only going to make things worse. I'm not trying to sound critical, really I'm not. It's just that I'm walking in your shoes with my twins and I can see how my difficult child 2 makes things worse. It's one of difficult child 1's biggest triggers because difficult child 2 "isn't the boss" which is how difficult child 1 sees him when he does the things you describe your oldest as doing. Any luck on the medication front? Having been there too, I really think you need to do some changing in that department. The medications either aren't working or they are causing the aggression as a couple medications did with difficult child 1. I had to DEMAND that things be changed because the psychiatrists didn't believe the medications were causing it. I proved them wrong. {{{{HUGS}}}} [/QUOTE]
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