We have been lucky this year to have a very good, qualified teacher for The Boy (Kindergarten), after the disaster that was last year. The school district has been very helpful; husband and I both work in the same building that The Boy attends. The result is that I probably have overstepped my boundaries a few times when dealing with behaviors, etc.--because I felt like there was an open-door policy, I have let a lot slide that I would not have allowed if I didn't feel comfortable. Rather than addressing the situation with me, a complaint was made to our boss regarding my involvement, and now I don't feel comfortable stopping to ask how The Boy's day was, about specific behaviors, etc. So, now, I have no form of communication with the teachers. There was never a communication book in place because I felt "okay" with the verbal communication. At this point, he has had two major meltdowns over changes that have been made in class that I did not "okay" and could have told them would trigger his PTSD had there been communication. He has been allowed to sit and eat lunch with his 1-1 in the classroom due to bad behavior (like the kid who likes to manipulate adults won't connect BAD = 1 on 1 time. I predict he will increase behaviors around lunch time to test this out...if I had been consulted at all, I could have warned them. He is in general education (and doing 1000x's better than he ever did in a small, contained class), and he needs to follow the class routine. Special attention from teachers totally feeds his post-institutionalized issues and will make him spiral. We are in DECEMBER with no behavior plan despite that it was requested when we enrolled him in AUGUST. He has a 1-1 with no training (and really, since there is no behavior plan to follow, no idea how to manage his behaviors). No progress notes regarding IEP goals. I asked for clarification as to why The Boy was bringing home worksheets that had no actual work and all scribbles (I requested that any destroyed work be sent home to complete), and the worksheets just stopped appearing with no explanation. Also: we only allow stimming in down time, and it's very limited. It has decreased a lot since we started attempted to eliminate it (with no new stims that I've noticed); it's probably his biggest way to escape, and he can't do that in class. The teacher and aide think I'm evil for not allowing him to sit on people's laps, give hugs, etc and basically wrote off this request at school. I am SO FRUSTRATED, and very limited to how much I can rock the boat due to husband and I both working here. I gave the principal a written copy of my concerns so that he is able to mediate, hopefully we can get this under control. The Boy was doing SO well until several changes were made recently (with no real idea WHY and no discussion with "the team"). I requested a communication log with daily communication from 1-1/classroom teacher, weekly communication from therapists and notification of any/all changes made to the routine or behavior plan prior to them occurring. I also requested that his PTSD be treated as a medical illness and that we be notified if meltdowns last more than 10 minutes or occur more than 5 times in 3 hours so that we are able to decide whether or not to come and get him. I also have asked that his 1-1 be responsible for discouraging the noises, etc. rather than just deciding what's best. Does that sound reasonable? I'm angry about the situation in general, I work in the schools and even when I've disagreed with parent request, I do my best to accommodate them. And, here is a kid that the school staff doesn't understand because he's way outside the box, and they are making decisions and changes based on their own opinions. As if THEY are the ones who will be responsible for his behavior for the rest of his life instead of one year.