Yeah, I think it is maybe time to go to the doctor to talk about my mood. On Sat Q was awful during the transition to my dad's house and I held it together fine. I came up on a stop sign that I noticed too late and hit the breaks hard and stopped fine, but it was rainy so I slid a tiny bit and it squeaked. There was a jogger and his chick running toward that intersection but they were half a block away when it all happened. When he got to the stop sign where I was still waiting for them, he started yelling at me to pay better attention etc. I rolled my window down and totally told him off. I swore and said I was sure he had never ever made one single mistake when driving etc. (I have zero tickets and zero accidents caused by me in my life)..... I let all my rage from Q out on this guy and I am guessing he is going to look at middle aged mothers as not so easy a target in the future. Today I am ****** about the bus again, they sat him in the third row (it is a little bus) and put the aid next to him. HOW is this better than the damn van? They call me, ask for my input, I say if he has a bus he can be in teh back and they can be in the front. Kids like Q need space, a safety bubble around them. So they get the bus and instead of dealing with the actual problems and using known behavioral methods that work (space, quiet, no talking etc.) they make up a f-ing problem that they are worried he will play with the emergency door (which has never happened in 14 years of riding a bus, not even has he talked about doing that) so they sit him near the driver put the aide behind him, give him less personal space and when I hear that things are not working out I am going to go tell them to go f themselves. I am not a person who swears and it all is coming to my mouth so easily right now. I am frustrated and crying and my mind knows this is not even a big deal in the grand scheme of things. So that is why I think it is ME....that I need a vacation or medicine or something. I am just frustrated with myself for not being the person I know I can be. I can be much kinder and more forgiving and I hate myself like this.