Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Pnt108, Feb 7, 2008.

  1. Pnt108

    Pnt108 Heartache

    Well - Hello I've never been in any chat rms etc on line, so this is a first in many ways.

    Our daughter is 8 and we are at a lose. She was diagnosed approx 1 yr with-anxiety (general, seperation), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and she is also extremely defiant, more so when it comes to any change to routine or moving from one thing to another. She just freezes up. Last year she missed 7wks of schl from panic attacks, etc.

    Counseling does help some, she looks forward to counseling (believe it or not) even though she barely talks. We keep a very strict routine at home, and give her notice for changes. Lately this just isn't working anymore - if she has it set in her mind one way - she will not budge. If we insist she loses it. Her outburst can last anywhere from minutes to 45 minutes. She hits, throws things, slams doors. Then she calms down and apologizes. She also can not or will not talk about her emotions.

    We've tried everything: praise, rewards, taking stuff away, ignoring the outburts, backing off the routine (makes matters worse). Nothing seems to be working.

    She is on Prozac, 1.5ml per day. Her doctor was going to start weaning her off this spring, but it's now looking like the medication's will need to be increased. Something we are hoping does not have to happen.

  2. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Hi Pnt,

    Welcome to the board - You said she enjoys going to the therapist - and you asked for suggestions - My son has severe PTSD and EMDR therapy is doing very well for him. It's similar to hypno therapy, but it allows you and the therapist to work backwards (so to speak).

    You have a traumatic event, then you have daily events and stressors piled on top of that event, and then you try to cope but most times as a child you don't have good coping skills so you get what is called poor coping skills or self-taught stims to help you with the traumatic event. And eventually it's like putting a blanket on top of a blanket on top of a blanket and before you know it - you're smothering (acting out behaviors)

    So what EMDR therapy does is digs around and removes stressors from today and takes away a blanket at a time until you arrive at the first blanket you put on the trauma - and eventually (sometimes in a month sometimes in years) you deal and face that problem with a trained therapist.

    I've used it for domestic violence and it worked very well for me.

  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Welcome aboard!
    Did she have any speech or social delays?
    Does she make good eye contact with strangers?
    Has she ever seen a neuropsychologist?
  4. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Gosh - it sounds like you're doing a *lot* (if not everything) right. Consistency was always just beyond my reach. ;)

    What do you do when she melts down? Does she have an audience? What happens if you ignore? What does her therapist suggest in terms of handling the meltdowns? Does she have similar problems at school?

    I'd strongly recommend "The Explosive Child" - I'm definitely not a self-help book kind of person, with this single exception. It explains some of the thinking behind the oppositional/defiant child from the child's point of view as well as helping us parents to figure out what battles we *really* want to fight and which ones can wait. If you fight every battle, you're going to get worn out really fast.

    Welcome to the board - so glad you found us!!