I've started to post this a few times and just got so frustrated over the situation I gave up. difficult child has been doing slightly better since the increase in Lamictal two weeks ago. He really has been trying. He is still getting ISS on a regular basis though. His violence has decreased some but not completely. The thing that has been driving me crazy is that we often (in the last year) have started leaving difficult child home with easy child when we go to the club. We only are gone about an hour total. Last week we came home to a very upset crying difficult child because easy child had tried to choke him. He was very scared. I'm sure he did something to start the fight but still this is not acceptable on easy child's part. After her therapist meeting last week we decided not to leave them home together alone. However, Sunday morning difficult child was almost asleep on the chair watching tv and didn't want to go to the club. husband tried to wake up easy child to tell her we were going because he really felt it would be o.k. to leave them with her sleeping. All she would need to do is stay in her room and there wouldn't be a problem. I was kind of thinking we should bring difficult child along but husband really felt things would be o.k. and I thought he was right. Well, we learned our lesson. About 25 minutes into my workout we got a call from difficult child. easy child was threatening him and he was scared-she was chasing him. easy child took the phone and screamed that this was my fault because I had left them alone (she had a point to an extent but wanted to accept no responsibility in this at all). I had difficult child lock himself in the bathroom and then talked with him while we drove home because he was just sobbing. We were home in about 5 minutes. Neither child can remember what started the whole thing! The whole situation is driving husband and I nuts. We have a medication check for easy child this afternoon and I'm sure it will get all blamed on her having such a difficult brother and I know that is part of it but think she also needs to be held responsible for her actions. She purposely does things at times to get him agitated and he worships the ground she walks on when they are getting along. She is upset because husband told her that from now if he has to go to the club she can come too. She can sit on the couch and read or do hw. Of course, in her eyes this is unfair and she is angry. She loves being home alone and I wonder if part of all this isn't a way to get herself to be able to be home on her own. Sorry this is so long. I'm not sure what the solution is to this. husband and I can't really go at separate times to the club-there just aren't enough hours in the day and giving up the club isn't a good option either because it is a major source of stress release for both of us. Last night difficult child chose to come to the club so we didn't have to deal with a problem. I'm almost thinking we'll have to offer him some sort of a carrot for coming to the club with no problem. He is one of the oldest there so it gets boring for him. I can't wait til he is 12 or 13 and can start working out with us.