fuming

[lmf64]

I'm still fuming over this and it's been over 24 hours now.
As my signature says I'm unemployed, and have been for way too long but there really aren't jobs where I live and with my education I get told I'm over qualified for the ones that are available. Well, this year difficult child is in a new program to transition to adulthood. The teacher is someone whom I have known for years and well, let's just say there really isn't any love lost between us, but I am respectful towards her in her position. Last night I had a parent teacher conference with her. During the conference she said something about difficult child saying "if you're not working, I'm not going to either". This is an ongoing discussion between difficult child and I. Anyway, when she said what she said she had this look on her face that said it all. She thinks she's so much better than everyone else. Well, as if that's not bad enough, she asked why my brother (who lives next door to her) was always home. I said he got laid off this last week and she said well it's been a lot longer than that that he hasn't worked. She said "The kids need a good example of a work ethic and maybe he should get a job flipping burgers or something. Even that would show the kids that it's important to work" First of all who does this b*^%h think she is. She is a public employee and making comments like that are totally inappropriate. Secondly, I'm not sure where to go from here. I know it's just my word against hers, but she has absolutely no business making judgements like she did.
I had a meeting today with her and a small part of difficult child's team and it took everything I had to not lay into her for it.

 

[Hound dog]

This woman has a boss. Report her unprofessional behavior.

Your employment status, and that of your brother is, quite frankly.........none of her business. You've every right to be fuming.

In the current economy, jobs are tough to find. In certain areas, it is much worse than others. Here, it quite literally stinks. Finding work in a fast food joint isn't even easy to do.......those jobs are filled already and not with the traditional teens, but with people trying to hold onto their homes and feed their families. This woman has no clue. phht.

Your difficult child is using your unemployment as an excuse. If you had a job, there would be a different excuse.

Hugs

 

[DammitJanet]

That is an awful thing to say to you. Am I right that the teacher said this and not your difficult child? Next time you have anything at all to do with even seeing this idiot teacher make sure you have your phone with you in your pocket and have it on record mode.

 

[susiestar]

I would make a complaint to her boss. I would raise a huge stink over this because it is unprofessional and none of her business and just plain stupid. in my opinion this person has zero right to talk to you about your employment. I can guarantee she would go to your boss if you did something similar. What awful messages is she telling the students about their parents?? I bet she has a whole lot more that she says when other adults are not around. ugh.

 

[lmf64]

Thank you all. Who should I report it too? The director of special services? The principal? The superintendent? Generally, I don't make waves, unless it's for my son, but I want her to know that judging others isn't in her job description. If she thinks she can say things like that to me, what is she saying to the kids or other parents who aren't educated.

 

[buddy]

I think her attitude about people who are not working (outside of the home) is far more damaging than being around someone who has lost a job! First, as you said, finding a job flipping burgers is not easy when you have a level of education or training or experience that puts you in a category where they say you are overqualified. Second, looking for a job does not mean you have to leave the house these days. People get unemployment insurance and can't just take any job while they are looking until there comes a point where it is truly necessary, there are too many rules, (my sister went through that for two years --luckily got extensions etc.)But mostly....as others have said, that is just so NONE OF HER BUSINESS. difficult child's saying that to me would have been met with a heads up to you and asking how you would like me to address such comments....ignore or educate on how being a parent is a full time job too, etc. That is something a parent should take the lead on and her attitude makes me wonder if she is overcompensating for feeling guilty that she doesn't spend enough time with her kids (if she has some)? ...probably she is just a judgmental you know what.

I'd go to her direct Special Education supervisor before a principal, just mho because they have more contact and direct impact on her job reviews.

 

[Bunny]

I would go to the principal, and if I got no satisfaction there I would go to the superintendant. That teacher was WAY out of line in making those comments to you. You job status are no one's buiness but your own.

As far as your difficult child goes, Hound Dog is right. She's using your unemployment as an excuse. If you were employed she would think of something else.

 

[BusynMember]

I probably would have told her, right there, "My family life is none of your business and is closed for discussion." I've said stuff like that to teachers before...they wuv me That is so out of line, I would report her to the principal and go from there. Her job is to help transition your son to adulthood...period. In our case though we had a caseworker for my son and didn't have to put up with that sort of crapola. I hope her skills in helping transition your son are better than her social skills!

 

[lmf64]

Thanks again.
Buddy, difficult child was talking to me on the phone and para heard him say it and wrote it down. Teacher was reading from para's notes. And yes she is just a judgemental you know what. When I was doing my student teaching her husband was a member of my cooperating teacher's team (multiage classrooms with students changing for subjects) and she was a witch with a capital b then.
MWM, I wish I had said something right then. I was so shocked that she would be so unprofessional.
I will be talking to difficult child's social worker on Monday and will go to principal from there. Could be a great meeting on Wednesday!