Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Funerals
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 652754" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Well people do miss funerals you know. Usually it's because they're too distraught to go or ill or whatever. My father had to lay down in the church basement during my mother's funeral, he couldn't handle it. My sister-in-law's father had a stroke the day before her mother's funeral. They ended up having the funeral and then having a private internment several weeks later for her dad's benefit. I had a cousin who died in a car accident the night after another cousin's funeral! A number of relatives didn't make the second funeral - just couldn't handle it so soon after the first. </p><p> </p><p>More akin to your situation, my best friend's brother came when his mom was dying but went home before the funeral. He lived several states away. His brother and sisters weren't happy with him, but in the end, it was his choice. He get's along okay with his siblings, but he had said his good-byes and didn't see any reason to stay any longer.</p><p> </p><p>My opinion is, you do what YOU can live with. Funerals are for the living, as you said. Sad as I find the idea, it is up to you. <u>He'll</u> know you love him either way. Being close to him while he is still alive is more important. Finding your own closure afterwards is more important. </p><p> </p><p>If you want the funeral to be what HE wants, you might suggest to him that he make the arrangements himself while he's still alive to make sure his wishes are carried out. Also, it occurs to me that if your family is as awful as you say, you might actually have a hard time even finding out where he's buried to go visit later if he hasn't already got the plot, if you don't go or at least have one of your kids go.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 652754, member: 17309"] Well people do miss funerals you know. Usually it's because they're too distraught to go or ill or whatever. My father had to lay down in the church basement during my mother's funeral, he couldn't handle it. My sister-in-law's father had a stroke the day before her mother's funeral. They ended up having the funeral and then having a private internment several weeks later for her dad's benefit. I had a cousin who died in a car accident the night after another cousin's funeral! A number of relatives didn't make the second funeral - just couldn't handle it so soon after the first. More akin to your situation, my best friend's brother came when his mom was dying but went home before the funeral. He lived several states away. His brother and sisters weren't happy with him, but in the end, it was his choice. He get's along okay with his siblings, but he had said his good-byes and didn't see any reason to stay any longer. My opinion is, you do what YOU can live with. Funerals are for the living, as you said. Sad as I find the idea, it is up to you. [U]He'll[/U] know you love him either way. Being close to him while he is still alive is more important. Finding your own closure afterwards is more important. If you want the funeral to be what HE wants, you might suggest to him that he make the arrangements himself while he's still alive to make sure his wishes are carried out. Also, it occurs to me that if your family is as awful as you say, you might actually have a hard time even finding out where he's buried to go visit later if he hasn't already got the plot, if you don't go or at least have one of your kids go. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Funerals
Top